Post by Deleted on Apr 10, 2018 18:02:10 GMT
Much accomplished discerning and detailed analysis has been made of the poem, “Excitement’s Crave.” There are sound arguments for and against it as the authentic expression of the perpetrator, East Area Rapist. Yet the question still remains whether the verses stem from him. Logic can take us only up to a certain point of understanding. Emotion, however, can bypass inhibitions and uproot the unknown to come to light.
Poetry is an expression of that emotion because it contains the subtle ebbs and flows of human nature. Here, I invite you all to come with me on a journey of revisiting “Excitement’s Crave” to uncover those subtle ebbs and flows of human nature, the emotions of the rhymester of the poem and whether this rhymester could be the one known as East Area Rapist (EAR).
From the beginning to the end of “Excitement’s Crave”:
Verse 1: All those mortal's surviving birth
What emotions are evoked from this first verse? The word mortal’s, rooted in the Latin word, “mort,” raises an image of a person close to death, compounded by the expression “surviving birth,” which emphasizes the perils of the person’s situation, fighting death to grasp at life from the very beginning. The feeling associated with “surviving birth” is that of overcoming severe adversity as when one’s life is at stake. It reminds of EAR fleeing law enforcement on bike, being so close to his death or demise as suggested by his closeness to being apprehended by law enforcement, but overcoming it by escaping it to preserve his life, not to mention lifestyle. This overcoming of extreme adversity gives a feeling of the power of the self to determine its life. Here, the poet is expressing a feeling of the increased power of the self or self-augmentation, its life.
Verse 2: Upon facing maturity
What feelings arise from this second verse? In the verse, the word “facing” carries with it a feeling of strength and boldness as the strength and boldness to face life’s difficulties. The word “maturity” is evocative of experience, wisdom and responsibility. Together, “facing maturity,” is being strong and bold enough to take on responsibility for one’s own life. Strength and boldness in taking on responsibility is suggestive of the feeling of coming into one’s own power. Coming into one’s power is like the independence of preparing one’s own foods, as EAR did in victims’ kitchens, and like control over the victims which corresponds with EAR’s binding of them and his rapes. The poet is voicing a feeling of increased power, an augmenting of the self, similar to its life. Both the above verses, when together, give a sense of someone engaged in a life review, similar to a person looking back at life events from birth to maturity when nearing death. The references to death indicate a feeling that the poet is no stranger to situations involving death and clashes to master it. They suggest that the life of the poet was a battle between death and life much like EAR’s evasion from the police to hold onto his life or lifestyle and resist possible death by their hands. This feeling of overcoming death in the poem is evocative of EAR composing it since this poem was released on the same day after his close brush with death as represented by evasion from law enforcement.
Verse 3: Take inventory of their worth
What emotions can be found in this third verse? The verse “Take inventory of their worth” is affiliated with business, as when a clerk keeps a record of the value of all commodities in a store or adds the value of all assets. This verse reminds of EAR as he had literally taken inventory when he stole rings and china from the victims’ homes, representative of reminders of the value of his exploits. In this verse, “Take inventory” gives a sense of a menial and tedious task as it is one usually given to clerks to perform for their business owners. It is a task associated with menial labor, which gives a feeling of mediocrity and inferiority. The poet is expressing a feeling of mediocrity and inferiority that is associated with a diminishing of the power of the self, its death.
Verse 4: To prevailing society
What feelings come out of the fourth verse? The verse “prevailing society” invokes a sense of a dominating crowd encroaching on a person. It gives a feeling of the powerlessness of the self surrounded by the power and domination of others in the environment. This feeling of powerlessness reminds of EAR’s sobbing and supplication to his mother as if he did not have the power to control his own actions. The poet shares this feeling of powerlessness which resembles self-diminishment as in the previous verse.
Verse 5: Choosing values becomes a task
How do you feel when you read the fifth verse? “Choosing values becomes a task” is reminding of a long menu list and the difficulty in making a choice of which foods to eat. The reference to the “task” of choosing values is indicative of the feeling of being involved in burdensome and trying labor. It also feels as if the person having to choose values did not receive help with which values to choose since the burden of making the choice remains. This lack of help is likened to EAR’s continuation of crimes over a decade, indicative of his not receiving the help that he would often implore, from his mother or others, during certain crimes to put an end to them. The burdensome “task” of choosing values is associated with the feeling again of being a laborer or in a state of mediocrity and inferiority. This mediocrity and inferiority takes us back to the poet’s self-diminishment.
Verse 6: Oneself must seek satisfaction
What are the feelings of this sixth verse? The words “Oneself must seek satisfaction” are synonymous with self-satisfaction or pleasing the self. Self-satisfaction and pleasing the self are suggestive of EAR as he would satisfy and please his senses, eating and drinking from the victims’ provisions, applying of lotion and sexual commanding. The feeling of self-satisfaction is an absorption with the importance of self. It is excess fixation on the self. This self-fixation and importance takes us back to the poet’s self-augmentation.
Verse 7: The selected route will unmask
How does the seventh verse make you feel? “The selected route” raises an image of a chosen road or path traveled, and the “unmask” connected to it is indicative of this path uncovering or shedding light. What does a path, representing surroundings, uncovering or shedding light remind of? That age-old dichotomy between fate versus free will where the path and surroundings are suggestive of fate coming from the outside to direct the course of events instead of free will or self-action directing them. The poet’s reference to the exterior or other directing the course of events is reminding of the EAR’s words blaming another for his crimes during one of his attacks, “She’s making me do it.” The feeling evoked from the exterior or other directing the course of events is that of the diminishing of the power of the self to impact them. Here again, the poet is sharing the diminishing of self.
Verse 8: Character when plans take action
What emotions are evoked from this eighth verse? The word “character” is associated with the effect of a person’s personality on others. For example, the expression, “He is quite a character!” It gives a feeling that the person stands out in some way. The verse further shows how the person stands out, “when plans take action.” This verse is the opposite of the previous verse because this verse is indicating that the character’s action or will decides the course of events instead of the exterior or other. The poet’s stress on the action of the character as deciding events conjures an image of EAR breaking into homes, tying up victims, ransacking, raping and stealing memorabilia. The feeling rising from the character’s or person’s action steering events is one of an augmenting of the power of the self to make decisions and effect results. Here again, the poet is communicating the augmenting of self.
Verse 9: Accepting some work to perform
What feelings are stirred from the ninth verse? The phrase “Accepting some work to perform” is suggestive of labor again where laborers are placed in a subjugated position of accepting work from their employers, which they must perform to earn a living. The words “some work” stir up feelings of the mundane as they indicate an offhand tone. This allusion to the mundane and subjugated labor accepting work from employers connects back with employers, who represent the exterior or others, providing direction. Here, there is a feeling again of the poet’s diminishing of self as the power of directing work is coming from the outside or others.
Verse 10: At fixed pay, but promise for more
What emotions come from this tenth verse? The “fixed pay” in this tenth verse is indicative of a base salary or a regular payment received. The poet, however, adds on that the pay may be increased with “promise for more.” These words give a feeling of the type of employment familiar to the poet from the poet’s experience, employments with base salary, as indicated by “fixed pay,” and commission, as represented by “promise for more.” The types of employment reflecting these “fixed pay” and “commission-based” salaries are any types of sales employments, real estate, construction, painting, technology, cars or vehicles, etc. Yet, these words give a sense of the power of determining employment terms coming from employers, the exterior or others again. Here is the feeling of the power of the poet diminished again.
Verse 11: Is a recognized social norm
What feelings are found in the eleventh verse? The verse “a recognized social norm” evokes a sense of the imposition of social rules on all members living in society to follow them. This verse refers back to the feeling of self-diminishment of the poet in an environment that imposes abiding by rules or widely accepted standards of behavior.
Verse 12: As is decorum, seeking lore
What emotions rise out of this twelfth verse? The words “decorum, seeking lore” invoke conventions or conventional behavior, as indicated by “decorum,” from the past, as referred to by “seeking lore,” which are imposed on all members of society. Similar to the previous verse, this twelfth verse triggers a feeling of the poet’s reduction of self-worth in an environment that holds power with its imposition of obedience to convention, rules and standards of behavior.
Verse 13: Achieving while others lifting
Which feelings unfold from the thirteenth verse? “Achieving while others lifting” gives a feeling of one being successful without having to carry burdens or toiling as others are doing in their daily work. This verse gives a sense that the poet prefers the easy way out of life, being able to be successful without putting in the toiling or labor to earn success. It alludes to the poet’s cleverness in achieving without expending the self, which is the same as using the resources of others. This verse reminds of EAR as he would use the resources of others to commit his crimes, using dishes from the victims’ kitchens to detain them, eating and drinking from victims’ supplies to satisfy his hunger and thirst, using the female victims as labor to bind their partners to restrain them, stealing bicycles from others in the neighborhood to make his escape, etc. It is a verse that is synonymous with EAR’s own words of being more smart or clever than others as he commented to one of his victims, “You think you're smarter, but I'm smarter than you are.” In distinction to the previous verses, this thirteenth verse returns to an earlier feeling of the poet’s self-augmentation in being successful at the expense of others. In doing so, the poet shows a sense of superiority through a defiance and dismissal of society and convention since success was achieved without resorting to the usual toil and labor that others struggle with to make a living.
Verse 14: Should be cause for deserving fame
What emotions come out of this fourteenth verse? The verse “Should be cause for deserving fame” sounds like the poet’s expectation or value judgment of how life should be in opposition to and reversal of society’s conventions and norms. It refers back to the thirteenth verse and the poet’s belief that taking the easy way out should be the aim of life, especially “deserving fame.” “Deserving fame” evokes a feeling of the poet’s disdain for others, as represented by the inference to an abandonment of “lifting” or society’s conventions and norms, and focus and aim in self-publicity and self-prominence as fame brings wide recognition of self from the public. Through this verse, the poet again returns to voicing a feeling of self-augmentation.
Verse 15: Leisure tempts excitement seeking
How does the fifteenth verse make you feel? The verse “Leisure tempts excitement seeking” imparts a sense of the proclivity of the poet to use free or spare time for arousing the self through risky behavior, as illustrated by excitement seeking, to break out of the dormancy of being another unrecognized member of the masses. The words “excitement seeking” give a feeling of the poet’s preference for exciting actions, which are associated with arousal and risk-taking behaviors where adrenaline gushes forth in the body. It is a feeling that evokes an image of the EAR running from attack locations and jumping over fences, athletic activities that trigger the rush of adrenaline and excitement. The proclivity for excitement shows the poet’s focus on self-interest and desire, which rekindles the feeling of an excessive focus on self or self-augmentation.
Verse 16: What's right and expected seems tame
What emotions are found from the sixteenth verse? This verse turns back to the earlier verses on society’s accepted norms and conventions as allegorized by the words “What’s right and expected” and pronounces a judgment on them, “tame.” The word “seems” before “tame” gives a sense of a dismissing attitude toward those accepted norms and conventions as if “tame” living is less appealing to excitement seeking from the previous verse. It reminds of EAR’s untamed and crude behavior, ransacking other people’s homes and refrigerators and raping women. The feeling from this verse echoes that of the previous verses where the poet is making a judgment about the less appealing and inferior way of living according to societal norms and conventions when compared to an “exciting” lifestyle. This sixteenth verse brings about a feeling of the poet’s preference for an “exciting” lifestyle being superior to the less appealing and inferior “tame” lifestyle, which highlights the poet’s self-augmentation yet again.
Verse 17: "Jessie James" has been seen by all
Which feelings can be discerned from this seventeenth verse? “Jessie James” being “seen by all” reminds of a historical figure who was both despised for his outlaw acts and admired by those in the same criminal profession as him, similar to the description of General Custer in the General Custer essay supposedly written by EAR where General Custer was described as “A man well amired, but a man hated very much…” Since the focus of the verse is on Jessie James, the poet exudes a feeling of admiration and envy that “ “Jessie James” has been seen by all.” It reflects the poet’s own invisibility, as he is not mentioned in the verse, which is connected with the feeling of self-diminishment.
Verse 18: And "Son of Sam" has an author
What emotions are uncovered from the eighteenth verse? Similar to the previous verse, the poet names another notorious criminal, the serial killer “Son of Sam” who was prolifically publicized around the time that this poem was sent to media outlets, 1977. Like the sentiment of the previous verse, the poet also expresses a feeling of awe at the notorious public figure or “author” behind the “Son of Sam” letter. It again exposes his own invisibility and related feeling of self-diminishment. This verse provides insight into the motivation of the poem, “Excitement’s Crave,” as its author imitates criminal “Son of Sam” in sending writing from the self that exalts criminal achievement, in the way a devotee would emulate a role model, to gain a similar sense of public recognition for increasing visibility of self.
Verse 19: Others now feel temptations call
How does the nineteenth verse make you feel? The verse, “Others now feel temptations call,” echoes the neglected feeling of the poet from the previous two verses in being invisible or excluded since the poet, as referred to by “Others,” now feels the call to be acknowledged in a similar way to “Jessie James” and “Son of Sam”. In this verse, the word “feel” stands out as it indicates that the poet is governed by “feelings,” which aptly informs us that through feeling, we can understand who the poet is. The reference to “feel temptations call” in the verse evokes EAR’s submission to temptations, pleasing the senses with food, drink and carnal acts. The feeling from this verse of “Others” giving in to please their senses is that of excess satisfying of the self or the poet’s self-augmentation.
Verse 20: Sacramento should make an offer
What emotions are evoked from this twentieth verse? “Sacramento should make an offer” sounds like a real estate expression where a prospective buyer of a home is asked to make an offer for that home. In a similar way, this verse gives a feeling of Sacramento being the home or main hub of the poet at the time of the release of the poem. It echoes EAR’s attacks in the Sacramento area. It also shifts the burden of work to be done or costs to be paid, as referred to by “offer,” on Sacramento for the benefit of the poet as indicated in the verses that follow. This benefit of the poet emits the feeling of excessive self-satisfaction or self-augmentation from previous verses.
Verse 21: To make a movie of my life
What feelings fly out of the twenty-first verse? The verse “make a movie of my life” is evocative of the simplistic style of self-centered commands that EAR gave to his victims, “Tie him up,” “Get on your stomachs,” “Don’t move,” etc. The poet is issuing a similar kind of self-centered command for the making of a movie to Sacramento. This command for the movie drips of the poet’s desire for recognition and fame expressed in previous verses. Recognition and fame are affiliated with self-publicity, self-serving behavior and the related feeling of the poet’s self-augmentation.
Verse 22: That will pay for my planned exile.
What emotions are associated with this twenty-second verse? The verse “That will pay for my planned exile” refers to the money raised from the movie made of the poet in the previous verse that would cover the costs of the poet’s relocation outside of California for self-preservation. This reference to use of others’ resources, the money raised from the city of Sacramento, is remindful of others’ resources that EAR used for his crimes, victims’ china, weaponry, shoelaces or cords, etc. The use of others’ resources for self-serving purposes is in accord with the feeling of the poet’s self-augmentation expressed in this and previous verses.
Verse 23: Just now I'd like to add the wife
What feelings rise from the twenty-third verse? The verse “Just now I’d like to add the wife” accentuates the desires of the poet toward the wife of another, which is evocative of EAR’s rapes of other men’s wives. This accentuation on the desire of the self and the action being taken by the self to add the wife of another is indicative of the poet’s self-serving behavior or feeling of self-augmentation.
Verse 24: Of a Mafia lord to my file
How do you feel about this twenty-fourth verse? The verse “Of a Mafia lord to my file” brings to remembrance the Italian family that EAR attacked and the knowledge of this attack that only they were privy to at the time of this poem’s release. The words “Mafia lord” give rise to a feeling that the gender relationship in the Italian family was conventional where the husband was the “lord” or authority of the home. The poet’s specific use of the term “Mafia lord” is indicative of a particular Italian male authority known to or acquainted with the poet. The words “to my file” are suggestive of the behavioral, social and psychological files that behavioral problem students at school have and that evoke the EAR’s behavior problems as suggested by his comment on being kicked out of the air force during an attack. The poet’s whole reference to adding the wife of a Mafia lord to the poet’s file casts a sense of the poet’s boastfulness and self-importance at having achieved an even greater dangerous feat by attacking another criminal, represented by “Mafia lord,” and adding this feat on record for public recognition. The poet’s boastfulness and self-importance are affiliated with the feeling of self-augmentation.
Verse 25: Your East Area Rapist
What do you feel from the twenty-fifth verse? This verse brings together both feelings of self-diminishment, as represented by “Your” which gives importance to other people or the public, and self-augmentation, as designated by “East Area Rapist which gives clout to the poet. This verse is a reflection of the title of the poem, “Excitement’s Crave” because it carries the same feelings of self-augmentation and self-diminishment where the word “Excitement” is a feeling connected to enlivening of the self or augmenting it, and the word “Crave” is a feeling of desire for what is lacking, which is suggestive of a lacking self or self-diminishment. The poet emits both feelings of self-diminishment and self-augmentation in this verse and the title of the poem.
Verse 26: And deserving pest
What emotions connect with this twenty-sixth verse? Like the previous verse and the title of the poem, this verse echoes both feelings of the poet’s self-augmentation, as represented by the word “deserving” and its association with the entitlement of the self, and the poet’s self-diminishment, as indicated by the word “pest” and its analogy with the inferiority and burden of self along with its exclusion from society.
Verse 27: See you in the press or on T.V.
What feelings culminate from the twenty-seventh and last verse of the poem? The verse “See you in the press or on T.V.” is rife with the poet’s boastfulness, self-importance and expected victory in achieving fame as if it is certain that the poet will be in the media or television. This boastfulness, self-importance and expected victory in achieving fame leaves the poet’s feeling of self-augmentation victorious at the poem’s end. The poet’s expected victory in being in the media and achieving fame is identical to EAR as he succeeded in eluding capture by law enforcement for over four decades and has been the subject of media coverage.
Feelings on “Excitement’s Crave” Poem as a Whole:
Studying “Excitement’s Crave” as a whole, see the whimsical and inconsistent use of the apostrophe where it does not belong, “All those mortal's surviving birth” in the first verse, and missing from where it does belong according to convention, “temptations call” in the nineteenth verse. This whimsical and inconsistent use of the apostrophe was similar in the General Custer essay where it was missing from the words “Terrys scouts.” The changeable and inconsistent use of the apostrophe is suggestive of dyslexia or problems with spelling, writing or reading. The absence of the apostrophe from words where it conventionally belonged in both Excitement’s Crave and the General Custer essay is suggestive of the author of both writings being the same and that author being EAR since the poem contains information that was only privy to an EAR victim at the time of the poem’s release and the essay was found in the vicinity of EAR’s place of suspected departure. This finding is indicative of EAR's possessing a form of impairment in literacy and learning. In a way, EAR was also defying convention, as illustrated by the poem, through the physical formation of his words and language.
Looking at all of "Excitement’s Crave," notice the abab rhyming form of the poem (birth and worth, maturity and society, task and unmask, satisfaction and action, perform and norm, more and lore, lifting and seeking, fame and tame, all and call, author and offer, life and wife, exile and file, Rapist and pest). Return to the past where EAR’s first four attack locations fit this abab rhyming pattern, Attack 1: “Rancho Cordova” (rhyme a), Attack 2: “Carmichael” (rhyme b), Attack 3: “Rancho Cordova” (rhyme a) and Attack 4: “Carmichael” (rhyme b). It feels as if EAR carried a similar sense of vacillation between geographical locations as the poet swinging between two extreme emotional positions.
“Excitement’s Crave” is a poem of two extreme emotional positions or dichotomy of extreme emotions, self-augmentation and self-diminishment, as shown above. This dichotomy is reflective of EAR’s inner opposing emotional currents since the feeling of self-diminishment or powerlessness is echoed in EAR’s helpless sobbing, supplication to his mother and “horrid pain” as he supposedly worded it of being forced to write sentences in the “Mad is the Word” essay, and the feeling of self-augmentation or powerfulness pervades through EAR’s dominating actions of invading homes, commanding and binding of victims, stacking of plates on backs and rapes. The dichotomy of extreme emotional swings, reflecting EAR’s human nature, expressed in the poem “Excitement’s Crave,” evokes the sense that EAR left the imprint of his nature into the poem. It is a poem that was not just produced by any poet. The feelings exuded from the poem suggest that it was composed by the only one with knowledge of the hidden inner emotional tug-of-war between diminishment and augmentation or the death and life of self until the increasing power of the life of self prevailed,
the perpetrator himself, East Area Rapist.
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Poetry is an expression of that emotion because it contains the subtle ebbs and flows of human nature. Here, I invite you all to come with me on a journey of revisiting “Excitement’s Crave” to uncover those subtle ebbs and flows of human nature, the emotions of the rhymester of the poem and whether this rhymester could be the one known as East Area Rapist (EAR).
From the beginning to the end of “Excitement’s Crave”:
Verse 1: All those mortal's surviving birth
What emotions are evoked from this first verse? The word mortal’s, rooted in the Latin word, “mort,” raises an image of a person close to death, compounded by the expression “surviving birth,” which emphasizes the perils of the person’s situation, fighting death to grasp at life from the very beginning. The feeling associated with “surviving birth” is that of overcoming severe adversity as when one’s life is at stake. It reminds of EAR fleeing law enforcement on bike, being so close to his death or demise as suggested by his closeness to being apprehended by law enforcement, but overcoming it by escaping it to preserve his life, not to mention lifestyle. This overcoming of extreme adversity gives a feeling of the power of the self to determine its life. Here, the poet is expressing a feeling of the increased power of the self or self-augmentation, its life.
Verse 2: Upon facing maturity
What feelings arise from this second verse? In the verse, the word “facing” carries with it a feeling of strength and boldness as the strength and boldness to face life’s difficulties. The word “maturity” is evocative of experience, wisdom and responsibility. Together, “facing maturity,” is being strong and bold enough to take on responsibility for one’s own life. Strength and boldness in taking on responsibility is suggestive of the feeling of coming into one’s own power. Coming into one’s power is like the independence of preparing one’s own foods, as EAR did in victims’ kitchens, and like control over the victims which corresponds with EAR’s binding of them and his rapes. The poet is voicing a feeling of increased power, an augmenting of the self, similar to its life. Both the above verses, when together, give a sense of someone engaged in a life review, similar to a person looking back at life events from birth to maturity when nearing death. The references to death indicate a feeling that the poet is no stranger to situations involving death and clashes to master it. They suggest that the life of the poet was a battle between death and life much like EAR’s evasion from the police to hold onto his life or lifestyle and resist possible death by their hands. This feeling of overcoming death in the poem is evocative of EAR composing it since this poem was released on the same day after his close brush with death as represented by evasion from law enforcement.
Verse 3: Take inventory of their worth
What emotions can be found in this third verse? The verse “Take inventory of their worth” is affiliated with business, as when a clerk keeps a record of the value of all commodities in a store or adds the value of all assets. This verse reminds of EAR as he had literally taken inventory when he stole rings and china from the victims’ homes, representative of reminders of the value of his exploits. In this verse, “Take inventory” gives a sense of a menial and tedious task as it is one usually given to clerks to perform for their business owners. It is a task associated with menial labor, which gives a feeling of mediocrity and inferiority. The poet is expressing a feeling of mediocrity and inferiority that is associated with a diminishing of the power of the self, its death.
Verse 4: To prevailing society
What feelings come out of the fourth verse? The verse “prevailing society” invokes a sense of a dominating crowd encroaching on a person. It gives a feeling of the powerlessness of the self surrounded by the power and domination of others in the environment. This feeling of powerlessness reminds of EAR’s sobbing and supplication to his mother as if he did not have the power to control his own actions. The poet shares this feeling of powerlessness which resembles self-diminishment as in the previous verse.
Verse 5: Choosing values becomes a task
How do you feel when you read the fifth verse? “Choosing values becomes a task” is reminding of a long menu list and the difficulty in making a choice of which foods to eat. The reference to the “task” of choosing values is indicative of the feeling of being involved in burdensome and trying labor. It also feels as if the person having to choose values did not receive help with which values to choose since the burden of making the choice remains. This lack of help is likened to EAR’s continuation of crimes over a decade, indicative of his not receiving the help that he would often implore, from his mother or others, during certain crimes to put an end to them. The burdensome “task” of choosing values is associated with the feeling again of being a laborer or in a state of mediocrity and inferiority. This mediocrity and inferiority takes us back to the poet’s self-diminishment.
Verse 6: Oneself must seek satisfaction
What are the feelings of this sixth verse? The words “Oneself must seek satisfaction” are synonymous with self-satisfaction or pleasing the self. Self-satisfaction and pleasing the self are suggestive of EAR as he would satisfy and please his senses, eating and drinking from the victims’ provisions, applying of lotion and sexual commanding. The feeling of self-satisfaction is an absorption with the importance of self. It is excess fixation on the self. This self-fixation and importance takes us back to the poet’s self-augmentation.
Verse 7: The selected route will unmask
How does the seventh verse make you feel? “The selected route” raises an image of a chosen road or path traveled, and the “unmask” connected to it is indicative of this path uncovering or shedding light. What does a path, representing surroundings, uncovering or shedding light remind of? That age-old dichotomy between fate versus free will where the path and surroundings are suggestive of fate coming from the outside to direct the course of events instead of free will or self-action directing them. The poet’s reference to the exterior or other directing the course of events is reminding of the EAR’s words blaming another for his crimes during one of his attacks, “She’s making me do it.” The feeling evoked from the exterior or other directing the course of events is that of the diminishing of the power of the self to impact them. Here again, the poet is sharing the diminishing of self.
Verse 8: Character when plans take action
What emotions are evoked from this eighth verse? The word “character” is associated with the effect of a person’s personality on others. For example, the expression, “He is quite a character!” It gives a feeling that the person stands out in some way. The verse further shows how the person stands out, “when plans take action.” This verse is the opposite of the previous verse because this verse is indicating that the character’s action or will decides the course of events instead of the exterior or other. The poet’s stress on the action of the character as deciding events conjures an image of EAR breaking into homes, tying up victims, ransacking, raping and stealing memorabilia. The feeling rising from the character’s or person’s action steering events is one of an augmenting of the power of the self to make decisions and effect results. Here again, the poet is communicating the augmenting of self.
Verse 9: Accepting some work to perform
What feelings are stirred from the ninth verse? The phrase “Accepting some work to perform” is suggestive of labor again where laborers are placed in a subjugated position of accepting work from their employers, which they must perform to earn a living. The words “some work” stir up feelings of the mundane as they indicate an offhand tone. This allusion to the mundane and subjugated labor accepting work from employers connects back with employers, who represent the exterior or others, providing direction. Here, there is a feeling again of the poet’s diminishing of self as the power of directing work is coming from the outside or others.
Verse 10: At fixed pay, but promise for more
What emotions come from this tenth verse? The “fixed pay” in this tenth verse is indicative of a base salary or a regular payment received. The poet, however, adds on that the pay may be increased with “promise for more.” These words give a feeling of the type of employment familiar to the poet from the poet’s experience, employments with base salary, as indicated by “fixed pay,” and commission, as represented by “promise for more.” The types of employment reflecting these “fixed pay” and “commission-based” salaries are any types of sales employments, real estate, construction, painting, technology, cars or vehicles, etc. Yet, these words give a sense of the power of determining employment terms coming from employers, the exterior or others again. Here is the feeling of the power of the poet diminished again.
Verse 11: Is a recognized social norm
What feelings are found in the eleventh verse? The verse “a recognized social norm” evokes a sense of the imposition of social rules on all members living in society to follow them. This verse refers back to the feeling of self-diminishment of the poet in an environment that imposes abiding by rules or widely accepted standards of behavior.
Verse 12: As is decorum, seeking lore
What emotions rise out of this twelfth verse? The words “decorum, seeking lore” invoke conventions or conventional behavior, as indicated by “decorum,” from the past, as referred to by “seeking lore,” which are imposed on all members of society. Similar to the previous verse, this twelfth verse triggers a feeling of the poet’s reduction of self-worth in an environment that holds power with its imposition of obedience to convention, rules and standards of behavior.
Verse 13: Achieving while others lifting
Which feelings unfold from the thirteenth verse? “Achieving while others lifting” gives a feeling of one being successful without having to carry burdens or toiling as others are doing in their daily work. This verse gives a sense that the poet prefers the easy way out of life, being able to be successful without putting in the toiling or labor to earn success. It alludes to the poet’s cleverness in achieving without expending the self, which is the same as using the resources of others. This verse reminds of EAR as he would use the resources of others to commit his crimes, using dishes from the victims’ kitchens to detain them, eating and drinking from victims’ supplies to satisfy his hunger and thirst, using the female victims as labor to bind their partners to restrain them, stealing bicycles from others in the neighborhood to make his escape, etc. It is a verse that is synonymous with EAR’s own words of being more smart or clever than others as he commented to one of his victims, “You think you're smarter, but I'm smarter than you are.” In distinction to the previous verses, this thirteenth verse returns to an earlier feeling of the poet’s self-augmentation in being successful at the expense of others. In doing so, the poet shows a sense of superiority through a defiance and dismissal of society and convention since success was achieved without resorting to the usual toil and labor that others struggle with to make a living.
Verse 14: Should be cause for deserving fame
What emotions come out of this fourteenth verse? The verse “Should be cause for deserving fame” sounds like the poet’s expectation or value judgment of how life should be in opposition to and reversal of society’s conventions and norms. It refers back to the thirteenth verse and the poet’s belief that taking the easy way out should be the aim of life, especially “deserving fame.” “Deserving fame” evokes a feeling of the poet’s disdain for others, as represented by the inference to an abandonment of “lifting” or society’s conventions and norms, and focus and aim in self-publicity and self-prominence as fame brings wide recognition of self from the public. Through this verse, the poet again returns to voicing a feeling of self-augmentation.
Verse 15: Leisure tempts excitement seeking
How does the fifteenth verse make you feel? The verse “Leisure tempts excitement seeking” imparts a sense of the proclivity of the poet to use free or spare time for arousing the self through risky behavior, as illustrated by excitement seeking, to break out of the dormancy of being another unrecognized member of the masses. The words “excitement seeking” give a feeling of the poet’s preference for exciting actions, which are associated with arousal and risk-taking behaviors where adrenaline gushes forth in the body. It is a feeling that evokes an image of the EAR running from attack locations and jumping over fences, athletic activities that trigger the rush of adrenaline and excitement. The proclivity for excitement shows the poet’s focus on self-interest and desire, which rekindles the feeling of an excessive focus on self or self-augmentation.
Verse 16: What's right and expected seems tame
What emotions are found from the sixteenth verse? This verse turns back to the earlier verses on society’s accepted norms and conventions as allegorized by the words “What’s right and expected” and pronounces a judgment on them, “tame.” The word “seems” before “tame” gives a sense of a dismissing attitude toward those accepted norms and conventions as if “tame” living is less appealing to excitement seeking from the previous verse. It reminds of EAR’s untamed and crude behavior, ransacking other people’s homes and refrigerators and raping women. The feeling from this verse echoes that of the previous verses where the poet is making a judgment about the less appealing and inferior way of living according to societal norms and conventions when compared to an “exciting” lifestyle. This sixteenth verse brings about a feeling of the poet’s preference for an “exciting” lifestyle being superior to the less appealing and inferior “tame” lifestyle, which highlights the poet’s self-augmentation yet again.
Verse 17: "Jessie James" has been seen by all
Which feelings can be discerned from this seventeenth verse? “Jessie James” being “seen by all” reminds of a historical figure who was both despised for his outlaw acts and admired by those in the same criminal profession as him, similar to the description of General Custer in the General Custer essay supposedly written by EAR where General Custer was described as “A man well amired, but a man hated very much…” Since the focus of the verse is on Jessie James, the poet exudes a feeling of admiration and envy that “ “Jessie James” has been seen by all.” It reflects the poet’s own invisibility, as he is not mentioned in the verse, which is connected with the feeling of self-diminishment.
Verse 18: And "Son of Sam" has an author
What emotions are uncovered from the eighteenth verse? Similar to the previous verse, the poet names another notorious criminal, the serial killer “Son of Sam” who was prolifically publicized around the time that this poem was sent to media outlets, 1977. Like the sentiment of the previous verse, the poet also expresses a feeling of awe at the notorious public figure or “author” behind the “Son of Sam” letter. It again exposes his own invisibility and related feeling of self-diminishment. This verse provides insight into the motivation of the poem, “Excitement’s Crave,” as its author imitates criminal “Son of Sam” in sending writing from the self that exalts criminal achievement, in the way a devotee would emulate a role model, to gain a similar sense of public recognition for increasing visibility of self.
Verse 19: Others now feel temptations call
How does the nineteenth verse make you feel? The verse, “Others now feel temptations call,” echoes the neglected feeling of the poet from the previous two verses in being invisible or excluded since the poet, as referred to by “Others,” now feels the call to be acknowledged in a similar way to “Jessie James” and “Son of Sam”. In this verse, the word “feel” stands out as it indicates that the poet is governed by “feelings,” which aptly informs us that through feeling, we can understand who the poet is. The reference to “feel temptations call” in the verse evokes EAR’s submission to temptations, pleasing the senses with food, drink and carnal acts. The feeling from this verse of “Others” giving in to please their senses is that of excess satisfying of the self or the poet’s self-augmentation.
Verse 20: Sacramento should make an offer
What emotions are evoked from this twentieth verse? “Sacramento should make an offer” sounds like a real estate expression where a prospective buyer of a home is asked to make an offer for that home. In a similar way, this verse gives a feeling of Sacramento being the home or main hub of the poet at the time of the release of the poem. It echoes EAR’s attacks in the Sacramento area. It also shifts the burden of work to be done or costs to be paid, as referred to by “offer,” on Sacramento for the benefit of the poet as indicated in the verses that follow. This benefit of the poet emits the feeling of excessive self-satisfaction or self-augmentation from previous verses.
Verse 21: To make a movie of my life
What feelings fly out of the twenty-first verse? The verse “make a movie of my life” is evocative of the simplistic style of self-centered commands that EAR gave to his victims, “Tie him up,” “Get on your stomachs,” “Don’t move,” etc. The poet is issuing a similar kind of self-centered command for the making of a movie to Sacramento. This command for the movie drips of the poet’s desire for recognition and fame expressed in previous verses. Recognition and fame are affiliated with self-publicity, self-serving behavior and the related feeling of the poet’s self-augmentation.
Verse 22: That will pay for my planned exile.
What emotions are associated with this twenty-second verse? The verse “That will pay for my planned exile” refers to the money raised from the movie made of the poet in the previous verse that would cover the costs of the poet’s relocation outside of California for self-preservation. This reference to use of others’ resources, the money raised from the city of Sacramento, is remindful of others’ resources that EAR used for his crimes, victims’ china, weaponry, shoelaces or cords, etc. The use of others’ resources for self-serving purposes is in accord with the feeling of the poet’s self-augmentation expressed in this and previous verses.
Verse 23: Just now I'd like to add the wife
What feelings rise from the twenty-third verse? The verse “Just now I’d like to add the wife” accentuates the desires of the poet toward the wife of another, which is evocative of EAR’s rapes of other men’s wives. This accentuation on the desire of the self and the action being taken by the self to add the wife of another is indicative of the poet’s self-serving behavior or feeling of self-augmentation.
Verse 24: Of a Mafia lord to my file
How do you feel about this twenty-fourth verse? The verse “Of a Mafia lord to my file” brings to remembrance the Italian family that EAR attacked and the knowledge of this attack that only they were privy to at the time of this poem’s release. The words “Mafia lord” give rise to a feeling that the gender relationship in the Italian family was conventional where the husband was the “lord” or authority of the home. The poet’s specific use of the term “Mafia lord” is indicative of a particular Italian male authority known to or acquainted with the poet. The words “to my file” are suggestive of the behavioral, social and psychological files that behavioral problem students at school have and that evoke the EAR’s behavior problems as suggested by his comment on being kicked out of the air force during an attack. The poet’s whole reference to adding the wife of a Mafia lord to the poet’s file casts a sense of the poet’s boastfulness and self-importance at having achieved an even greater dangerous feat by attacking another criminal, represented by “Mafia lord,” and adding this feat on record for public recognition. The poet’s boastfulness and self-importance are affiliated with the feeling of self-augmentation.
Verse 25: Your East Area Rapist
What do you feel from the twenty-fifth verse? This verse brings together both feelings of self-diminishment, as represented by “Your” which gives importance to other people or the public, and self-augmentation, as designated by “East Area Rapist which gives clout to the poet. This verse is a reflection of the title of the poem, “Excitement’s Crave” because it carries the same feelings of self-augmentation and self-diminishment where the word “Excitement” is a feeling connected to enlivening of the self or augmenting it, and the word “Crave” is a feeling of desire for what is lacking, which is suggestive of a lacking self or self-diminishment. The poet emits both feelings of self-diminishment and self-augmentation in this verse and the title of the poem.
Verse 26: And deserving pest
What emotions connect with this twenty-sixth verse? Like the previous verse and the title of the poem, this verse echoes both feelings of the poet’s self-augmentation, as represented by the word “deserving” and its association with the entitlement of the self, and the poet’s self-diminishment, as indicated by the word “pest” and its analogy with the inferiority and burden of self along with its exclusion from society.
Verse 27: See you in the press or on T.V.
What feelings culminate from the twenty-seventh and last verse of the poem? The verse “See you in the press or on T.V.” is rife with the poet’s boastfulness, self-importance and expected victory in achieving fame as if it is certain that the poet will be in the media or television. This boastfulness, self-importance and expected victory in achieving fame leaves the poet’s feeling of self-augmentation victorious at the poem’s end. The poet’s expected victory in being in the media and achieving fame is identical to EAR as he succeeded in eluding capture by law enforcement for over four decades and has been the subject of media coverage.
Feelings on “Excitement’s Crave” Poem as a Whole:
Studying “Excitement’s Crave” as a whole, see the whimsical and inconsistent use of the apostrophe where it does not belong, “All those mortal's surviving birth” in the first verse, and missing from where it does belong according to convention, “temptations call” in the nineteenth verse. This whimsical and inconsistent use of the apostrophe was similar in the General Custer essay where it was missing from the words “Terrys scouts.” The changeable and inconsistent use of the apostrophe is suggestive of dyslexia or problems with spelling, writing or reading. The absence of the apostrophe from words where it conventionally belonged in both Excitement’s Crave and the General Custer essay is suggestive of the author of both writings being the same and that author being EAR since the poem contains information that was only privy to an EAR victim at the time of the poem’s release and the essay was found in the vicinity of EAR’s place of suspected departure. This finding is indicative of EAR's possessing a form of impairment in literacy and learning. In a way, EAR was also defying convention, as illustrated by the poem, through the physical formation of his words and language.
Looking at all of "Excitement’s Crave," notice the abab rhyming form of the poem (birth and worth, maturity and society, task and unmask, satisfaction and action, perform and norm, more and lore, lifting and seeking, fame and tame, all and call, author and offer, life and wife, exile and file, Rapist and pest). Return to the past where EAR’s first four attack locations fit this abab rhyming pattern, Attack 1: “Rancho Cordova” (rhyme a), Attack 2: “Carmichael” (rhyme b), Attack 3: “Rancho Cordova” (rhyme a) and Attack 4: “Carmichael” (rhyme b). It feels as if EAR carried a similar sense of vacillation between geographical locations as the poet swinging between two extreme emotional positions.
“Excitement’s Crave” is a poem of two extreme emotional positions or dichotomy of extreme emotions, self-augmentation and self-diminishment, as shown above. This dichotomy is reflective of EAR’s inner opposing emotional currents since the feeling of self-diminishment or powerlessness is echoed in EAR’s helpless sobbing, supplication to his mother and “horrid pain” as he supposedly worded it of being forced to write sentences in the “Mad is the Word” essay, and the feeling of self-augmentation or powerfulness pervades through EAR’s dominating actions of invading homes, commanding and binding of victims, stacking of plates on backs and rapes. The dichotomy of extreme emotional swings, reflecting EAR’s human nature, expressed in the poem “Excitement’s Crave,” evokes the sense that EAR left the imprint of his nature into the poem. It is a poem that was not just produced by any poet. The feelings exuded from the poem suggest that it was composed by the only one with knowledge of the hidden inner emotional tug-of-war between diminishment and augmentation or the death and life of self until the increasing power of the life of self prevailed,
the perpetrator himself, East Area Rapist.
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