Excitement's Crave - a line-by-line analysis.

[armchair]

I recently learned of serial killer Israel Keyes' suicide letter which is, like EC, a poem-manifesto.  I want to include it here because it's the only other case I know of a serial killer writing in this form. EAR/ONS and Keyes wrote their "poems" at vastly different stages in their "careers" so there are big differences in what/how they express. I do think there are some parallels between the Keyes letter and EC in their psychopathic outlook which we can discuss.

I believe this is the context of Israel Keyes' poem:  He was being debriefed by the FBI and they struck a deal where he would reveal more if Keyes was moved off suicide watch.  In his new cell, Keyes gets the last laugh and takes back control of his destiny by ending his life. The following pages were found underneath his body and took to the grave any info on other crimes.


****
Where will you go, you clever little worm, if you bleed your host dry?
Back in your ride, the night is still young, streetlights push back the black I neat rows.
Off to the right a graveyard appears, lines of stones, bodies molder below.
Turn away quick, bob your head to the seat, as straight through that stop sign you roll loaded truck with lights off slams into you
broadside, your flesh smashed  as metal explodes.

You may have been free, you loved living your lie, fate had its own scheme crushed like a bug you still die.
Soon, now, you'll join those ranks of dead or your ashes the wind will soon blow. Family and friends will shed a few tears, pretend
it's off to heaven you go.

But the reality is you were just bones and meat, and with your brain died also your soul.

Send the dying to wait for their death in the comfort of retirement homes, quietly/quickly say "it's for the best" it's best for you so
their fate you'll not know.
Turn a blind eye back to the screen, soak in your reality shows. Stand in front of your mirror and you preen, in a plastic castle you
call home.

Land of the free, land of the lie, land of scheme Americanize! Consume what you don't need, stars you idolize, pursue what you
admit is a dream, then it's  American die.

Get in your big car, so you can get to work fast, on roads made of dinosaur bones. Punch in on the clock and sit on your ass, playing
stupid ass games on your  phone. Paper on your wall, says you got smarts. The test that you took told you so, but you would still
crawl like the vermin you are, once your precious power grids blown.

Land of the free, land of the lie, land of the scheme, Americanize.

Now that I have you held tight I will tell you a story, speak soft in your ear so you know that it's true. You're my love at first sight
and though you're scared to be near me, my words penetrate your thoughts now in an intimate prelude.

I looked in your eyes, they were so dark, warm and trusting, as though you had not a worry or care. The more guiless the game the
better potential to fill up those pools with your fear.
Your face framed in dark curls like a portrait, the sun shone through highlights of red. What color I wonder, and how straight will it
turn plastered back with the sweat of your blood.

Your wet lips were a promise of a secret unspoken, nervous laugh as it burst like a pulse of blood from your throat. There will be no
more laughter here.

I feel your body tense up, my hand now on your shoulder, your eyes. Forget the lady called luck she does not abide near me for her
powers don't extend to those who are dead.

[illegible words] would that I could keep you, let you be the master of your own fate... knowing full well what's at stake? My pretty
captive butterfly colorful wings my hand smears... I somehow repaint them with punishment and tears.
Violent metamorphosis, emerge my dark moth princess, I would come often and worship on the altar of your flesh. You shudder
with revulstion and try to shrink far from me. I'll have you tied down and begging to become my Stockholm sweetie.

Okay, talk is over, words are placid and weak. Back it with action or it all comes off cheap. Watch close while I work now, feel the
electric shock of my touch,  open your trembling flower, or your petals I'll crush.
****

[almagata]

Jul 25, 2016 6:42:21 GMT armchair said:

I recently learned of serial killer Israel Keyes' suicide letter which is, like EC, a poem-manifesto.  I want to include it here because it's the only other case I know of a serial killer writing in this form. EAR/ONS and Keyes wrote their "poems" at vastly different stages in their "careers" so there are big differences in what/how they express. I do think there are some parallels between the Keyes letter and EC in their psychopathic outlook which we can discuss.

I believe this is the context of Israel Keyes' poem:  He was being debriefed by the FBI and they struck a deal where he would reveal more if Keyes was moved off suicide watch.  In his new cell, Keyes gets the last laugh and takes back control of his destiny by ending his life. The following pages were found underneath his body and took to the grave any info on other crimes.


****
Where will you go, you clever little worm, if you bleed your host dry?
Back in your ride, the night is still young, streetlights push back the black I neat rows.
Off to the right a graveyard appears, lines of stones, bodies molder below.
Turn away quick, bob your head to the seat, as straight through that stop sign you roll loaded truck with lights off slams into you
broadside, your flesh smashed  as metal explodes.

You may have been free, you loved living your lie, fate had its own scheme crushed like a bug you still die.
Soon, now, you'll join those ranks of dead or your ashes the wind will soon blow. Family and friends will shed a few tears, pretend
it's off to heaven you go.

But the reality is you were just bones and meat, and with your brain died also your soul.

Send the dying to wait for their death in the comfort of retirement homes, quietly/quickly say "it's for the best" it's best for you so
their fate you'll not know.
Turn a blind eye back to the screen, soak in your reality shows. Stand in front of your mirror and you preen, in a plastic castle you
call home.

Land of the free, land of the lie, land of scheme Americanize! Consume what you don't need, stars you idolize, pursue what you
admit is a dream, then it's  American die.

Get in your big car, so you can get to work fast, on roads made of dinosaur bones. Punch in on the clock and sit on your ass, playing
stupid ass games on your  phone. Paper on your wall, says you got smarts. The test that you took told you so, but you would still
crawl like the vermin you are, once your precious power grids blown.

Land of the free, land of the lie, land of the scheme, Americanize.

Now that I have you held tight I will tell you a story, speak soft in your ear so you know that it's true. You're my love at first sight
and though you're scared to be near me, my words penetrate your thoughts now in an intimate prelude.

I looked in your eyes, they were so dark, warm and trusting, as though you had not a worry or care. The more guiless the game the
better potential to fill up those pools with your fear.
Your face framed in dark curls like a portrait, the sun shone through highlights of red. What color I wonder, and how straight will it
turn plastered back with the sweat of your blood.

Your wet lips were a promise of a secret unspoken, nervous laugh as it burst like a pulse of blood from your throat. There will be no
more laughter here.

I feel your body tense up, my hand now on your shoulder, your eyes. Forget the lady called luck she does not abide near me for her
powers don't extend to those who are dead.

[illegible words] would that I could keep you, let you be the master of your own fate... knowing full well what's at stake? My pretty
captive butterfly colorful wings my hand smears... I somehow repaint them with punishment and tears.
Violent metamorphosis, emerge my dark moth princess, I would come often and worship on the altar of your flesh. You shudder
with revulstion and try to shrink far from me. I'll have you tied down and begging to become my Stockholm sweetie.

Okay, talk is over, words are placid and weak. Back it with action or it all comes off cheap. Watch close while I work now, feel the
electric shock of my touch,  open your trembling flower, or your petals I'll crush.
****

Keyes had some similarities in this poem to EAR if the map with Punishment on it was really EAR's work. 

Keyes poem also has some similarities with Leonard Lake.  Leonard Lake in his journals wrote about punishment and slaves but he also was trying to recreate the book "The Collector" with his Miranda project and building the cell in Wilseyville.  The kidnapper in Silence of the Lambs is loosely based on the main character in The Collector.  From Keyes' talk about kidnapping and butterflies, he might have been a fan of the book as well. 

[cityofchill]

Jul 25, 2016 6:42:21 GMT armchair said:

I recently learned of serial killer Israel Keyes' suicide letter which is, like EC, a poem-manifesto.  I want to include it here because it's the only other case I know of a serial killer writing in this form. EAR/ONS and Keyes wrote their "poems" at vastly different stages in their "careers" so there are big differences in what/how they express. I do think there are some parallels between the Keyes letter and EC in their psychopathic outlook which we can discuss.

I believe this is the context of Israel Keyes' poem:  He was being debriefed by the FBI and they struck a deal where he would reveal more if Keyes was moved off suicide watch.  In his new cell, Keyes gets the last laugh and takes back control of his destiny by ending his life. The following pages were found underneath his body and took to the grave any info on other crimes.


****
Where will you go, you clever little worm, if you bleed your host dry?
Back in your ride, the night is still young, streetlights push back the black I neat rows.
Off to the right a graveyard appears, lines of stones, bodies molder below.
Turn away quick, bob your head to the seat, as straight through that stop sign you roll loaded truck with lights off slams into you
broadside, your flesh smashed  as metal explodes.

You may have been free, you loved living your lie, fate had its own scheme crushed like a bug you still die.
Soon, now, you'll join those ranks of dead or your ashes the wind will soon blow. Family and friends will shed a few tears, pretend
it's off to heaven you go.

But the reality is you were just bones and meat, and with your brain died also your soul.

Send the dying to wait for their death in the comfort of retirement homes, quietly/quickly say "it's for the best" it's best for you so
their fate you'll not know.
Turn a blind eye back to the screen, soak in your reality shows. Stand in front of your mirror and you preen, in a plastic castle you
call home.

Land of the free, land of the lie, land of scheme Americanize! Consume what you don't need, stars you idolize, pursue what you
admit is a dream, then it's  American die.

Get in your big car, so you can get to work fast, on roads made of dinosaur bones. Punch in on the clock and sit on your ass, playing
stupid ass games on your  phone. Paper on your wall, says you got smarts. The test that you took told you so, but you would still
crawl like the vermin you are, once your precious power grids blown.

Land of the free, land of the lie, land of the scheme, Americanize.

Now that I have you held tight I will tell you a story, speak soft in your ear so you know that it's true. You're my love at first sight
and though you're scared to be near me, my words penetrate your thoughts now in an intimate prelude.

I looked in your eyes, they were so dark, warm and trusting, as though you had not a worry or care. The more guiless the game the
better potential to fill up those pools with your fear.
Your face framed in dark curls like a portrait, the sun shone through highlights of red. What color I wonder, and how straight will it
turn plastered back with the sweat of your blood.

Your wet lips were a promise of a secret unspoken, nervous laugh as it burst like a pulse of blood from your throat. There will be no
more laughter here.

I feel your body tense up, my hand now on your shoulder, your eyes. Forget the lady called luck she does not abide near me for her
powers don't extend to those who are dead.

[illegible words] would that I could keep you, let you be the master of your own fate... knowing full well what's at stake? My pretty
captive butterfly colorful wings my hand smears... I somehow repaint them with punishment and tears.
Violent metamorphosis, emerge my dark moth princess, I would come often and worship on the altar of your flesh. You shudder
with revulstion and try to shrink far from me. I'll have you tied down and begging to become my Stockholm sweetie.

Okay, talk is over, words are placid and weak. Back it with action or it all comes off cheap. Watch close while I work now, feel the
electric shock of my touch,  open your trembling flower, or your petals I'll crush.
****

Armchair, where have you been man! It's great to see you. Always enjoyed your posts.


I've actually been working on an analysis of the third stanza of EC for a long time, but never had time to finish it. I do hope to eventually post an analysis of the whole thing and hopefully other members will continue to comment and add their own takes. I hope you stick around and continue to post, armchair. 

[cityofchill]

****Note****

I have a little free time on my hands, so I've decided to do as much work as I can in finishing my line-by-line analysis of Excitement's Crave. For those who have read the thread from the beginning, you will know that I am analyzing the poem as an exercise in literary analysis — similar to what literature students around the world do when they dissect a piece of poetry and attempt to understand it better by an in-depth analysis of every word, phrase, allusion, metaphor, image, rhyme and rhythm.

In my own work on the poem, I am not looking to analyze the poem for its own sake, or prove a pre-conceived thesis or position, but simply to deconstruct what is there in an attempt to a) evaluate the likelihood of the writer being the actual perpetrator; b) search for any clues about the motivations for the crimes; c) to better understand the writer's view of himself, his crimes, and the social context in which they occur; d) look for any details the writer knowingly or unknowingly gives away about his possible identity. In the case of EC, writing this analysis with a set thesis would limit me by forcing me to defend a position, when I don't actually have a unified theory about the poem other then a general sense that the EAR wrote it and he is telling us something about himself and his crimes. I am searching for clues about the author, and by not hitching my cart to a particular horse allows me more freedom to explore and consider every angle I can without having to defend a specific theory or angle. It also allows me to be open-minded, whichnis crucial with a project like this, and to change my thinking without feeling wedded to a theory that must be proven at all costs.

Before I continue with my analysis, I just want to write a brief note, since it's been a while since I last posted anything here. First of all, analyzing this poem and writing about it is bloody exhausting — mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I do not enjoy putting myself into the mind of a sick rapist-murderer and imagining why he wrote these lines, and what they mean. Analyzing literature (not that this is literature in the proper sense, though I am treating it as such) is always a difficult and subjective task, and it's something I am trained to do. But we are taught in undergrad NOT to analyze literature for the purposes of psychology; in other words, don't analyze literature to better understand the author — analyze it on its own terms. So this project is very hard for me because I am not accustomed to analyzing a piece of writing for the complete opposite reason — not to judge the value of a piece of writing based on its inherent characteristics of beauty and truth, but rather analyzing it almost solely for the purpose of psychoanalyzing the writer in an attempt to figure out what HIS message to the world is, and what is says about him.

The subjectivity of scholarship on fiction and poetry makes literary analysis challenging enough when done "by the book." This kind of effort that we are undertaking in this thread brings the level of difficulty and subjectivity to a whole new level. We know so little about the offender, and if he even wrote this poem — although I believe he did. But the possible interpretations of every word, line, stanza are limitless, and what they say about the writer could be completely different for one reader than for another. That is why I have repeated that I do NOT believe my interpretation is more valid than anyone else's — only that I am trained to study and write about literature (not that I would call this literature, but it is creative writing). I have asked other members to comment on my interpretations and add their own to have a healthy debate, because there is no secondary source I can cite to help prove any thesis or argument I might make.

I find it very difficult to write about this poem. My efforts in the past were aimed at analyzing a stanza in a single massive undertaking. I know now I will never finish this analysis if I proceed that way. I have to take it a little at a time. So I am working on this second stanza and will keep posting my work until I have finished with it, and then move on to the next stanza. I may only be able to look at a single line or even a single word in a post, but I am going to keep hacking away until I have analyzied the next stanza as much as I can bear to, and then move on the next, and so on. I hope people continue to read this thread and find it interesting, and I hope that members add their own opinions and interpretations to the mix. But please avoid making statements or stating opinions without backing them up with your own analysis.

Finally, my previous entry — which considered only the title — was not completed. I had really only finished giving background on some points about human psychology and history and the meaning of "excitement" in terms of biology, and looked a little at punctuation and Grayson's poem 'Marion,' which some think inspired the title. But I never had a chance to finish explaining MY thesis that the title is, in a way, the offender's thesis — his raison d'etre, if you will. I believe the title tells us a lot about his motives, his psychology, his worldview, and even provides evidence that it was the EAR who wrote the poem. I plan to come back to the title shortly and finish my work on it because I think it is SO important.



Anyways, on to the second stanza:


Choosing values becomes a task;
Oneself must seek satisfaction
The selected route will unmask
Character when plans take action.


  

~Second Stanza, Part I — EAR and Maturity~

Some individuals, including Det. (Ret.) Jim Bevins, have posited that this stanza, along with the first one, points to an older author. Apparently a younger author would not be reflecting on their lives in this manner, and this is more like a middle-aged man looking back on his life and tracing his development. However, I tend to disagree. Anyone can reflect on their lives and development, and a megalomaniacal narcissist like EAR/ONS cannot help but want to see himself in "epic" terms: what shaped him, moulded him, made him into the terrifying enigma that the "world" saw him as. He was aware of, and compared himself to, other killers and outlaws like Jesse James and Son of Sam. The difference was that these men achieved mythical status in the American consciousness, and books were written to cement their "creation stories," and what it was that made them tick. The EAR could never have that because he did not plan to be caught. As a result, he had to tell his own story, and this is it. I will talk more about the EAR's desire to have his story told later on when we get to the stanza about him wanting a movie made about his life.

EAR/ONS was absolutely aware of the fame and "legacy" a killer could achieve in the historical consciousness of a society, and he wanted in, so to speak. It is a theme I will keep returning to as I analyze the poem, because it is a theme the EAR keeps returning to in the poem. He wanted to be recognized and heralded as a vicious and enigmatic predator, but more along the lines of Jack the Ripper than Son of Sam, because he did not plan to ever be caught. He wanted to be "known," but not captured, if that makes any sense. He revelled in the attention and the "game" of being an elusive serial predator. We know this because of how he used the media, telling victims to give messages to the police, asking for things to be published about himself, writing and sending this poem, sending little "messages" to the police and public through his crimes.

This criminal wanted fame, and he tells us as much in very explicit terms later in the poem (he muses about a film being made about his life, for God's sake!). The EAR/ONS is a product of American culture and he knows any famous person needs an "origin story;" something that tells the world what made them great. He also knows that the most compelling stories in America are often the stories of notorious criminals and killers — think about Scarface (Al Capone), the Godfather, Bonnie and Clyde, John Dillinger (the "gentleman" bandit) — and that Americans love stories about criminals and even admire some criminals. He knows through movies and popular culture that there is a certain myth-making that goes on with the lives of famous killers and criminals, and he is creating his own myth, his own "lore" with this poem. Note how hyper-aware he is of "lore" and fame. It doesn't take a mature man to understand that any famous person — hero or villain — needs lore to be famous. All it takes is some time watching American crime films, especially bio-pics that glorify thugs and gangsters, and show us how they became the men we know them as. The Godfather, Part II is an excellent example of this. EAR/ONS wants to be feared, and as a narcissist, he wants people to know how exceptional he is: how smart, cunning, superior. By writing a poem, he also shows that he wants to be seen not as a despicable two-bit rapist, but a thoughtful monster who is capable of "art." Classic narcissism.

Is it really only mature people who think about the process of choosing values upon reaching maturity? I would say not at all. I think the individuals most likely to reflect on that process are the ones going through it or who have gone through it recently — in other words, a young adult. One of the roles of a previous job I had was to review the poetry of young people. And I'm not talking EAR-young (I believe our offender to be between 18 and 22 when he started offending). I was reviewing the poetry of 14 and 16-year-olds, and was blown away at their abilities to reflect on their own lives and develop nuanced points about life, and the journey from childhood to adulthood. Of course, you don't have to take my word for it — do a Google search on "youth poetry." Read a few verses and see for yourself if you believe that only an adult can be reflective about certain aspects of life — like the process involved in transitioning from childhood to adulthood. As I said earlier, I think it is LESS likely that a fully-grown adult would write about this process and the "task" involved — "choosing values," "seeking satisfaction" — but rather someone who is actively going through this process or who has recently gone through it. For someone like EAR, who has become the most despicable kind of human being, one could see this as rationalizing, or as the words of a psychopath: to paraphrase, "as we get older, we have to make decisions about our lives and our values. Most mortals seek to live a satisfying life through their work or family or relationships. I, on the other hand, have chosen to seek satisfaction by satiating my most base desires and I am proud of it."

My point is that it does not take a grown man to do what EAR/ONS is doing in EC — making his own myth by offering a brief "origin story," so to speak. Anyone exposed to Western film and culture — especially crime dramas — knows that heroes and outlaws need an origin story if they want to be famous or mythical. In the first stanza, the writer of EC dwells on the fine line that separates life and death, and how precarious it is. He separated himself from "those mortals," who simply survive birth, and now he is continuing chronologically...what happens next? Well, if you are him, you get older and you start having to make choices. What the lines about choosing values tells me is that EAR is in a transitional period of his life, probably just moving into adulthood. He could 18,19,20, or perhaps a little older. But I would imagine that he has become much more self-aware recently. He has possibly found some independence from his family and is now able to look at himself as a mature man who has made a choice about what kind of life he wants to live, and who he wants to be. Unfortunately, he has made a conscious decision to be a rapist. He is compelled by a craving for excitement to take massive risks and terrorize people in their own homes. So when he talks about choosing values, I think he is talking about himself having struggled with urges that he knows conflict with the laws and rules of our society, but has made his choice and is at peace with it...sort of. Rather than see his choice as that of a depraved loser, he sees it as a brave and bold choice made by someone a notch above the other "mortals."

But he has struggled with this choice. We know this because he says clearly that choosing values is a "task." His incarnation as a sexual terrorist is something he has thought about. A lot. All that stalking, prowling, phoning homes, researching potential victims has given him time to think about what he is doing. But he also tells us what his guiding principle was in making the choice: his own search for "satisfaction." While everyone does the same thing when they reach adulthood — makes a choice about who they want to be and what they want to be in order to have a satisfying life — the EAR's "satisfaction" is different. His satisfaction is a satiation of more base desires and urges. He then tells us something that is plainly obvious, but uses a few extremely revealing words — inside jokes, if you will — that remind us of the kind of clever * we are dealing with.

While it is obvious that a person's choices about their life and values will reveal their character, the author wants to make a point about this with some very interesting words, brought together in a single phrase: selected route, unmask, plans, take action.

Okay...I think this is all I can manage for now. I will complete this some time today or tomorrow by considering these words and how they tell us we really are hearing from EAR. I also have a few other points to make about the contents of this stanza before I double-back to the title, then proceed with stanza #3. I hope at least some readers found this post insightful. In the future, I intend to get to the "meat" much quicker.

CityofChill



* Note that I haven't yet had a chance to really edit this post, or to give it more than a once-over. It is very difficult to write on this board with my IPad, so I may have to edit the original document and repost the whole thing. There will be things I want to fix and expand on, in addition to the next post that will continue where I've left off. Please have patience with me. Thanks, 🙂

** Note: I have added a little to this post, but am continuing to work on analyzing the first two lines of the second  stanza  — which is mainly what this post is concerned with — and will continue to return to it and add more in the coming days. Right now it is just a cursory analysis of those lines. As I work on the rest of the stanza, new ideas come to me and I add to this section. So if you don't think I have been very thorough in my analysis or touched on many points, please give me time. The same is true with the post on EAR and hubris. In the mean time, I do hope that other members will comment on my work and add their own POV's, because the debate about meaning between multiple members really adds to the overall analysis. Because I have a very difficult time interacting with this board on my iPad when a post is more than a couple paragraphs, I typically edit the post and re-post the original document with the additions. Each time I do that, I will leave a short note here at the bottom that briefly states what has been added so that the reader doesn't have to read the whole thing over again. This time I added a few points wily-nily. I will add more in the coming days. 

[cityofchill]

I wanted to add this to my previous thread, but as I have mentioned, my iPad gives me trouble viewing what I type when posts are longer than a couple hundred words, or when quoting another poster.

I just wanted to say that, this time around, I don't care so mich how many or how few people are interested in reading or responding to my posts in this thread. Last time, I was under a lot of stress from work and viewed the project as a monolithic undertaking to be completed as quickly as possible. So I wanted to make sure there were at least a few members interested if I was going to undertake such a massive project. As I have mentioned, analyzing this poem is exhausting for me. It takes a lot out of me getting into the "zone," putting myself into the author's frame of mind, and trying to tease out his motives and messages from what is really a very dense piece of writing (by dense I don't mean dumb or obtuse; rather, there is a lot of meaning and significance packed into every line).

As I also mentioned, I am used to writing about literature the "old-fashioned" way; not trying to psychoanalyze the author based on their writings — never mind an author whose identity is unknown, who is truly an enigma, and also happens to have committed some of the most heinous and disgusting crimes in American history. To analyze this poem as a way of better understanding the writer is truly exhausting. Sometimes I start writing, thinking I know what I am going to talk about, but as I think more and more about the line or even a single word, I realize that there is so much more to be said. Sometimes I completely change my opinion half-way through one of my mini-essays and have to start over or edit it heavily. 

So, as I've explained, I'm taking it slowly this time, and even though I am going to put all my effort into it, I am going to do it at my own pace. This means I can approach it differently and not really care how many people think it is a worthwhile undertaking or will read my posts and perhaps respond to them to create a lively debate — although I certainly hope members read it, comment on it, and do engage in debate about the meaning. However, this time I am doing the work more for myself — unfinished business, I guess you can say.

Of course I do hope that people read it and find it interesting and insightful, even if they don't agree with me. But I especially hope it ignites debate and leads to more peope adding their own impressions and interpretations of the poem. I do truly believe EAR wrote this, and so I think it is an amazing resource because he is telling us about himself, addressing us directly. I think there is a lot to be learned about him from this poem, and the more we can dissect it, the more we can understand him, his motivations, his worldview, his psychology, and so on.

Just wanted to add that...sorry if it's redundant or seems unnecessary. I am working on the follow-up to my analysis of the second stanza at this very moment and hope to have it posted tonight or tomorrow.

Thank-you to everyone who has contributed to this thread, and to those who have read through it. I look forward to finishing the analysis and hearing others' ideas and interpretations. 

Peace,

CoC

[cityofchill]

Second Stanza, Part II — EAR and Moral Equivalency, Hubris


There is tremendous skepticism in some quarters that the EAR wrote this poem at all. Having read the damn thing dozens of times now, I am convinced that it was him. The second stanza provides some excellent examples of why I have come to believe that, and they also tell us a bit about the offender's self-regard and how clever he thinks he is.

If we look at the first six lines of the poem, we are given a little chronology that takes us from birth to maturity, in the context of American society at large. I have already written about the first stanza in some detail, so I'm not going to revisit it. If we look at the first two stanzas as the beginning of the EAR's "origin story," the second stanza starts off with him making the transition from youth to adulthood, forced — as we all are — to make choices about the kinds of people we want to be, what we want to do with our lives, what is important to us. Because the EAR is, at heart, a narcissist, he can't possibly allow himself or anyone else to believe that he is a scumbag rapist because he has uncontrollable urges. For him, he has made a brave choice to rape and terrorize. He wants the reader to know he is fully in control of his actions, has taken time to choose his values, and is seeking satisfaction the way he wants after reflecting on his life and the world around him. He doesn't see himself as just another perverted sexual deviant who violates people because he can't help himself. He has chosen this life and he is proud of it.

In order to get this message across without sounding like a compete idiot, the author has to engage in a little moral equivalency. He does this by using a perfectly valid word in a grammatically incorrect way — "Oneself." I have a lot to say about this misuse of the word, but as far as moral equiuvalency goes, think about the way oneself is used in speech — in the third person. In other words, EAR is talking about everyone in society, not just himself. According to him, we all must make choices when we reach maturity about how to achieve "satisfaction." I think very few people would distil the meaning of life to seeking satisfaction, but that is a oretty blunt and unvarnished way of phrasing it. We want financial stablity, partnership, a home, possessions, fulfillment. While most people get that fulfillment through their relationships with others or their careers and the stuff they can buy with the money earned from them, we all know the kind of satisfaction the EAR seeks. This is where the moral equivalency comes in. Up to and including this point in the poem, the author could be writing about anyone of us. So when he says that one must seek satisfaction, it is not an outlandish statement. However, we do know who the author is and what kind of satisfaction he is speaking of. And yet he talks about his particular choice as though it is little different than the choice everyone makes when they reach maturity and go through the task of choosing values. Of course, no one "chooses values." Values are learned. Here is a small slip that gives us some insight into his character. 

The other slip is the moral equivalency involved in "seeking satisfaction." Sure, we all have our vices, but most of us don't harm anyone with them. But the EAR has engaged in a single-minded pursuit of satisfaction through terrorizing others. This poses a bit of a dilemma. In one way he wants to see himself as exceptional, better than "those mortals" who toil for a paycheque. He wants us to know that he has taken a different path; one that separates him from us and makes him better. But at the same time, he also likens his development to everyone else in the West. He is simply going through the process of reaching maturity, taking stock of himself, and deciding the kind of person he wants to be. I think this is a pretty amazing and revealing point — he doesn't see himself as being all that awful. He is, as he later says, a pest. Not a maniac terrorist who ruins lives by the dozens. Just another outlaw who chose a different path. On the one hand he wants us to know how smart and clever and savvy he is — how superior to us. On the other, he also wants us to know that henis essentially the same as us. By misusing "onesself," he is talking about himself and everyone else as being one in the same in seeking satiafaction from life. Throughout the entire poem he glosses over the visceral brutality of his deeds, and only refers to them in the most pedestrian way. To me, this is an example of amazing wilfull blindness and sign of an amazing contradiction — how can he think he is in any way similar to others? He goes back and forth like this throughout the poem, identifying with society, then reminding us how far above it he is almost in the same breath. Something tells me he has not fully reached maturity and is still struggling with his choices about how to seek satisfaction. Is this why he stopped killing?

As far as "Onesself," I am not going to get into too long-winded an explanation of proper usage with examples, because I think everyone who reads this knows how the word is generally used, and that this usage is NOT grammatically correct. Oneself is really a third-person pronoun, even though it seems to refer to the first person. If EAR had simply written "One must seek satisfaction," there would be no problem with his grammar, no awkwardness. But as with other examples in the poem, he is reaching for poetic language — fancy language, if you will — and instead making himself sound unlearned. He really wants his poem to be good. He wants it to sound like good poetry. So he throws these fancy words in at different points, and often makes a mess of things in the process, showing us that he sees himself as being a smart, talented, thoughtful person, when he is really only partially learned and not capable of using even moderately complex diction without botching it. In his crimes, he reaches for the moon and is able to attain it, over and over. He makes a few errors early on, but for the most part, his criminal career is staggering in its...competence.

I hate to praise this guy for the awful things he did, but he was an extremely ambitious criminal who was able to very skilfully assault homes and their occupants all over California over a period of 10 years without ever being caught. But when he reaches for the moon in his poetry, we see his limitations. He is thoughtful and clever, capable of basic reflection and self-expression, but when he tries to make his poetry sound "poetic," he falters, because he simply doesn't have the skill or knowledge base to do so. However, these errors give us more insight into EAR the narcissist. He seems to know what he thinks "good" poetry should sound like. He wants his readers to see him as being learned. But reading a few good poems and being able to write one yourself are two different things. But the EAR thinks he can write a great poem, because he thinks he is great in every way. What we end up getting is clunky diction masquerading as poetics.

The whole point of this long dissertation on a single word is to give an insight into EAR — there are times in his criminal career where he also gets too ambitious and screws up (think attack #3 or Danville); there are also times he takes huge risks and gets lucky, ie kicking doors down and assaulting victims in homes with multiple occupants. He thinks he is invincible and much too clever to be caught. And he's right...he ran circles around the cops wherever he went, thumbed his nose at them and at all of society. The only thing worse than a narcissist is one whose actions reinforce over and over that he actually IS really good at something. So if he can terrorize a community and not get caught, of course he can write an amazing poem! That is the way he thinks, but his errors show us the limits of his intellect and knowledge. They also show us that he doesn't recognize those limits. Again, why should he. This is the guy who walked down the street naked after a failed assault and never got picked up by the cops. I wanted to linger on his clumsy use of diction here because we are going to see it again later in the poem, and we are also going to see signs of the EAR overreaching in the poem; thinking himself too clever by half. This hubris will come back to bite him as the ONS, when he is forced to shoot multiple victims because of mistakes he made in either underestimating them or getting too cocky and not laying enough attention to what he was doing, thinking himself invincible. In this way, his clunky poetic diction isn't just a sign of someone who isn't a true poet — it's the sign of someone with serious hubris. But we will return to this theme later when it is far clearer on the page and more interesting as an insight into his character.

CoC

*Note I have expanded on the third paragraph and added a new one just after. I plan to return to the Stanza II, Part I and talk more about the odd phrase,  "choosing values," and what it might mean. Lots of work ahead. 

[cityofchill]

Just wanted to let anyone following this thread know that I added a bit to the analysis part of Second Stanza, Part I, in addition to this entry — Second Stanza, Part II. I still want to circle back to Stanza II, Part I and talk more about "choosing values." Right now I am working on the most challenging and most interesting part (in my opinion) of the analysis of this stanza, which deals a little with EAR's poetic abilities, but focuses mainly on the second two lines of the stanza and his use of those very tantalizing phrases I mentioned earlier. I hope to have it up by this time tomorrow. The more I write about this poem, the more I realize just how much material there is here to talk about. I am going to constsntly coming back to these posts and adding to them, so if you are disappointed that I haven't gone deep enough in some cases, let me know, but also please have patience. This work is not easy. I am looking forward to reading any comments and other interpretations from other members.

CoC

[Drifter]

Wow, lots of work there, CofC.

I think it would be difficult for posters to disagree with you on major points, or have much input, although anyone who wants to by all means do so. Significant disagreement or major input would require posters to spend almost as much time on the poem as you have. So there may not be lots of discussion. But people are reading your analysis.

D.

[cityofchill]

Jul 26, 2016 23:45:30 GMT Drifter said:

Wow, lots of work there, CofC.

I think it would be difficult for posters to disagree with you on major points, or have much input, although anyone who wants to by all means do so. Significant disagreement or major input would require posters to spend almost as much time on the poem as you have. So there may not be lots of discussion. But people are reading your analysis.

D.

Thank-you for the show of support, Drifter.

I hope they are reading it, or do read it. It is a lot of work, and a lot to read. That was why I wanted to guage interest last time around, before I started. Unfortunately, that became really controversial for some reason. I don't care so much about how mamy people want to read what I write on the poem this time around, but I hope people can read through long and dense posts without getting frustrated or feeling their eyes glaze over. While some of my posts on some lines and stanzas will be more interesting to the average reader than others, I am really trying to he thorough. As an example, I am working right now on an analysis of the second two lines of the second stanza which I think many readers will find interesting; but I'm also working on a post about poetics and how EC stacks up to other poetry in an effort to determine if he had an interest in poetry and past experience writing it. That kind of thing can be boring to read (and write!), but it has a purpose. I truly believe EC has a lot of useful clues to the offender's state-of-mind, self-perception, feelings about his crimes, and even some biographical information. I think that a careful reading and analysis can tell us a lot about him — if you think about it, it is the only piece of direct communication we have from him, where he addresses the public at large. That is extremely significant.

I also know that despite the time I have put into reading and thinking about the poem, I don't have a monopoly on good insights into its meaning. Even if no one wants to bring up something I've written, maybe they will want to raise a question they had about a word or line and its significance, and a discussion about that would greatly add to the conversation and debate. Ideally, people will challenge things I've written or add to them, or suggest an alternative. Initially, my post on the first stanza generated a lot of feedback and debate. I hope this does the same.

As I mentioned, the posts I've made recently, and even the one on the title, are incomplete and I'm adding to them constantly (I plan to come back to the title to finish making my point about its significance). I hope people think the poem is worth this kind of work, and that it is worth it for them to read what I've written, even if it's just to say that it's all a bunch of BS...as long as they can provide a counter-argument, lol.

[cornbread]

Cityofchill, nice work. I'm making my way through it slowly, but it's interesting to study -- who's to say what's important? I also come from a literature/academic background, so I am sympathetic to your plight.

translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=nl&u=http://www.boevennieuws.nl/buitenlands-nieuws/east-area-rapist-seriemoordenaar/&prev=search

Found the above earlier, which I found interesting. Couple bits in there I hadn't seen, one of which is that, until the last three lines, where it kind of peters out, all the last letters of each line match those of the line two lines up. Which is mostly due to the rhyme scheme, no doubt, but also the case with the few non-rhyming words.

[armchair]

Jul 25, 2016 14:11:14 GMT cityofchill said:

Choosing values becomes a task;
Oneself must seek satisfaction
The selected route will unmask
Character when plans take action.

CoC, Thanks again for taking the time to analyze the writings of this perp. Sharing this guy's head space is sickening, but hopefully we can glean something useful from it.

Some individuals, including Det. (Ret.) Jim Bevins, have posited that this stanza, along with the first one, points to an older author. Apparently a younger author would not be reflecting on their lives in this manner, and this is more like a middle-aged man looking back on his life and tracing his development.

Yes, it's an important question: how old was EAR and does the poem offer up any clues?
I recently learned of forensic linguistics.  Check out  soundcloud.com/real-crime-profile/episode-16-interview-with   


But he has struggled with this choice. We know this because he says clearly that choosing values is a "task." His incarnation as a sexual terrorist is something he has thought about. A lot. All that stalking, prowling, phoning homes, researching potential victims has given him time to think about what he is doing. But he also tells us what his guiding principle was in making the choice: his own search for "satisfaction." While everyone does the same thing when they reach adulthood — makes a choice about who they want to be and what they want to be in order to have a satisfying life — the EAR's "satisfaction" is different. His satisfaction is a satiation of more base desires and urges. He then tells us something that is plainly obvious, but uses a few extremely revealing words — inside jokes, if you will — that remind us of the kind of clever * we are dealing with.

While it is obvious that a person's choices about their life and values will reveal their character, the author wants to make a point about this with some very interesting words, brought together in a single phrase: selected route, unmask, plans, take action.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I heard an interview with a Ted Bundy expert and towards the end he debunks some myths. One theory is Bundy started killing because he was spurned by his fiancee. If I heard it right, Bundy had wrestled with his homicidal urges but finally gave in and made the choice...that search for satisfaction. His lover's rejection was only a speedbump because his plans were already in motion.
www.blogtalkradio.com/dan-zupansky1/2016/03/31/the-trail-of-ted-bundy-kevin-sullivan

It's getting late so I'll have to come back to tackle more of the second stanza.

I'm thinking about the following as it relates to "Choosing values"

Psychopath documentary from the BBC.  It's pretty good, but the first 20 minutes is the most riveting.
youtu.be/PVRg4Xgo7Pc

Wayne scores 40/40 on the psychopath test.  He wants out of prison and has clearly learned the language of rehabilation:

27:02  I knew that I had to get in touch with some deeper level of interconnection so i could identify with humanity.
We're all born with a conscience. we learn not to touch the stove because it's hot. Until we touch the stove and get burned: then and only we don't touch the stove again.
Compassion and empathy is a learned process. It starts at a very early age.

[almagata]

CoC,

As always, I find your review and interpretation of Excitement's Crave valuable. 

You stated that "And yet he talks about his particular choice as though it is little different than the choice everyone makes when they reach maturity and go through the task of choosing values. Of course, no one "chooses values." Values are learned. Here is a small slip that gives us some insight into his character. "  I don't agree with you that values are not chosen.  Children are raised in an environment that tend to mold their opinions, behaviors and values as they grow into adults.  A huge part of being an adult is separating yourself from your parents identity and becoming your own person.  Part of that separation process is determining what you value and that may be very different than what your parents have tried to imprint on you.  In the late 1960's and 1970's, you see this schism between what parents value and what their children value in the counterculture demonstrations all over the country. 

[cityofchill]

Jul 27, 2016 13:35:16 GMT almagata said:

CoC,

As always, I find your review and interpretation of Excitement's Crave valuable. 

You stated that "And yet he talks about his particular choice as though it is little different than the choice everyone makes when they reach maturity and go through the task of choosing values. Of course, no one "chooses values." Values are learned. Here is a small slip that gives us some insight into his character. "  I don't agree with you that values are not chosen.  Children are raised in an environment that tend to mold their opinions, behaviors and values as they grow into adults.  A huge part of being an adult is separating yourself from your parents identity and becoming your own person.  Part of that separation process is determining what you value and that may be very different than what your parents have tried to imprint on you.  In the late 1960's and 1970's, you see this schism between what parents value and what their children value in the counterculture demonstrations all over the country. 

Thank-you for your feedback, Almagata. I hope you continue to contribute your ideas to the thread. I absolutely agree with what you are saying, and I think I have to refine my point a bit to have it better reflect what I meant to say. I think what I was getting at is that we are all products of our society. The values one is exposed to growing up in rural Texas might be very different from those one is exposed to growing up in Sacramento in the late-70's. And while we do choose values to a certain extent, we can only choose from among those that are already available to us. Everyone grows up wanting to be different from their parents, and yet inevitably most of us turn into our parents by age 30 or so, lol. The fact is America or Canada or Mexico has a certain set of values common to everyone. There are liberal values, conservative values, countercultural values, and so on, but we are limited in the values we can choose from based on who are parents are, where we grow up, our peer group, how much exposure we get to other cultures and influences, and so on. So I believe there is a certain amount of choice that goes into establishing one's values, but almost everyone I know has a set of values that is heavily influenced by their family, community, peer group, and cultural norms. There are variations, of course, but it's remarkable how similar people who grow up in a given community are to each other in terms of values. 

Then we have someone like EAR, who is a complete outlier. His values are completely selfish and self-interested. He values pleasure, "excitement-seeking," and other things centred around his own personal gratification. But even his values come from somewhere. Think about those lurid true crime rags, for example. Lots of people have speculated that he was into that stuff, and having taken a look at it online, you can see commonalities between them. There is also the part of American/Western culture, particularly in the 70's that elevated sexual pleasure to the forefront of popular culture. Sex was everywhere, and the EAR couldn't have avoided the fact that people were gettting laid all around him. Think about Times Square during that period and what the so-called "Crossroads of America" symbolized to most people. Those are just a couple examples, but my point is that even when one chooses values, they are doing so within a limited range of options, and we are heavily influenced by those closest to us.

Anyways, your point is well-taken, and I plan to give it some thought, then go back and refine that section. Thank-you for your input! 

[cityofchill]

Jul 27, 2016 6:33:11 GMT cornbread said:

Cityofchill, nice work. I'm making my way through it slowly, but it's interesting to study -- who's to say what's important? I also come from a literature/academic background, so I I'm sympathetic to your plight.

translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=nl&u=http://www.boevennieuws.nl/buitenlands-nieuws/east-area-rapist-seriemoordenaar/&prev=search

Found the above earlier, which I found interesting. Couple bits in there I hadn't seen, one of which is that, until the last three lines, where it kind of peters out, all the last letters of each line match those of the line two lines up. Which is mostly due to the rhyme scheme, no doubt, but also the case with the few non-rhyming words.

Cornbread,

Thanks for the link. I haven't had a chance to take a look at it yet, but I plan to. Hopefully, with your academic background, you might feel inclined to jump on this crazy-train and get down and dirty with the poem, lol. I look forward to seeing you post more in this thread.

As for rhyme scheme, I am working on a friggin' behemoth mini-essay about EAR's "poetics" in EC and what they tell us about him. I'm going slowly on that one, lol.
 
peace,

CoC

[cityofchill]

Jul 27, 2016 7:55:58 GMT armchair said:

Jul 25, 2016 14:11:14 GMT cityofchill said:

Choosing values becomes a task;
Oneself must seek satisfaction
The selected route will unmask
Character when plans take action.

CoC, Thanks again for taking the time to analyze the writings of this perp. Sharing this guy's head space is sickening, but hopefully we can glean something useful from it.

Some individuals, including Det. (Ret.) Jim Bevins, have posited that this stanza, along with the first one, points to an older author. Apparently a younger author would not be reflecting on their lives in this manner, and this is more like a middle-aged man looking back on his life and tracing his development.

Yes, it's an important question: how old was EAR and does the poem offer up any clues?
I recently learned of forensic linguistics.  Check out  soundcloud.com/real-crime-profile/episode-16-interview-with   


But he has struggled with this choice. We know this because he says clearly that choosing values is a "task." His incarnation as a sexual terrorist is something he has thought about. A lot. All that stalking, prowling, phoning homes, researching potential victims has given him time to think about what he is doing. But he also tells us what his guiding principle was in making the choice: his own search for "satisfaction." While everyone does the same thing when they reach adulthood — makes a choice about who they want to be and what they want to be in order to have a satisfying life — the EAR's "satisfaction" is different. His satisfaction is a satiation of more base desires and urges. He then tells us something that is plainly obvious, but uses a few extremely revealing words — inside jokes, if you will — that remind us of the kind of clever * we are dealing with.

While it is obvious that a person's choices about their life and values will reveal their character, the author wants to make a point about this with some very interesting words, brought together in a single phrase: selected route, unmask, plans, take action.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I heard an interview with a Ted Bundy expert and towards the end he debunks some myths. One theory is Bundy started killing because he was spurned by his fiancee. If I heard it right, Bundy had wrestled with his homicidal urges but finally gave in and made the choice...that search for satisfaction. His lover's rejection was only a speedbump because his plans were already in motion.
www.blogtalkradio.com/dan-zupansky1/2016/03/31/the-trail-of-ted-bundy-kevin-sullivan

It's getting late so I'll have to come back to tackle more of the second stanza.

I'm thinking about the following as it relates to "Choosing values"

Psychopath documentary from the BBC.  It's pretty good, but the first 20 minutes is the most riveting.
youtu.be/PVRg4Xgo7Pc

Wayne scores 40/40 on the psychopath test.  He wants out of prison and has clearly learned the language of rehabilation:

27:02  I knew that I had to get in touch with some deeper level of interconnection so i could identify with humanity.
We're all born with a conscience. we learn not to touch the stove because it's hot. Until we touch the stove and get burned: then and only we don't touch the stove again.
Compassion and empathy is a learned process. It starts at a very early age.

Armchair!

Thanks for dropping in! I am looking forward to continuing to read your post when you get back to it. You have always had lots of great points and interesting posts. 

Peace,

CoC