my scrapped EARONS film
Dec 21, 2015 6:14:18 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Dec 21, 2015 6:14:18 GMT
READ FIRST COMMENT!!!
NOTES:
-The story will claim to be true, focusing more on the story telling than trying to market within the film. The plot is in fact a compilation of events that have happened in the various crimes committed by the EARONS. However, the story itself is heavily inspired by the murders of Offerman/Manning/Smiths. They will be created into characters, inspired by them and various events mentioned by survivors.
-While the dog, "Woofy" is not present in either of the film treatments, he is there in the script.
-The Offerman/L. Smith character is CONNOR ABROMOWITZ, while his lover MOIRA HALPRIN is inspired by Manning/C.Smith. Their story draws more from that of Offerman/Manning as in careers, lifestyle and family relations. The climax of the film is theoretical but presented as the case reports allow. However, much of what you will read happened in other instances as according to survivors of the EAR saga. Just the same, some things are going to be changed so as to allow audiences to see just how bold of a criminal the 'Intruder' was.
***I feel it important to state that while the characters are inspired by certain people and events, that each character is an original one with their own back grounds. Nothing is 100% for anyone, save possibly for the Intruder.
-The film's cold opening is followed by a snippet from the OBSCENE PHONE CALL, "Gonna Kill You"
-The character of the INTRUDER is based on the EARONS and will be portrayed by multiple actors, all of them appearing as the various composite sketches.
-Naturally, the second film would have wrapped up the murder case as a whole and left the audience with a subtle hint as to where to find the 'real' information.
FILM ONE TREATMENT: 'PUNISHMENT'
Written by Wes Vegas
COLD OPENING/TITLE CARD, SHARP FONT: 'The events that take place in this film are true. Names and locations have been altered so as to deter the suspect, who may still be at large.'
INSERT OBSCENE CALL SNIPPET: "Gonna kill you..."
We cut to the OPENING: a beautiful young woman in her mid-to-late teens, JESSE WILHELM, is home alone. Follow with her as she is preparing a dinner for two, though there is an ominous feeling that she, and therefore the audience, is being watched. Her boyfriend, the older and rugged BRET MARTIN arrives and the two skip dinner. After having sex, the two pass out and the INTRUDER makes his move, breaking in and accosting the two.
Using a flashlight, the masked Intruder blinds the two after waking them with his hissing, sharp and demanding voice. At gunpoint, Jesse is forced to tie up Bret before she herself is tied up with bindings brought by the Intruder. He then reties Bret and begins ransacking the house, demanding money and food. He returns and withdraws a stack of dishes, oddly having been stashed beneath the bed. He places the dishes on Bret's back before taking Jesse out of the room in 'search of money', threatening her death if he hears the dishes fall.
The Intruder takes Jesse into the living room, where he tosses her down and begins rummaging again. He returns with drapes that he begins tearing into strips and blindfolds her. It is clear that he is meaning to rape her. Meanwhile, the helpless and terrified Bret is trembling and the dishes ultimately tumble over.This causes the Intruder to fly into a frenzy and storm out of the room, chanting " Gonna Kill 'em! Gonna Kill 'em!"
Jesse makes a desperate move to run once the blindfold slips down, as the Intruder forgot to retie her ankles. She goes blindly for the door but the Intruder reappears and pushes her back. In the other room, Bret hears the commotion and loses any hope that Jesse is alive. He makes his own move, hobbling out of the room as best as he can. The Intruder returns to find that Bret is gone and begins desperately searching for him. Jesse again makes a desperate attempt at running away.
Bret has hopped out of the back door, where the Intruder seems to have broken in. However, he falls over into some bushes and cannot move. The Intruder comes out and Bret is not found, having disappeared into the bushes. He lays prone, silent as the FLASHLIGHT BEAM dances around in search of him. A scream from Jesse calling for help on the opposite end of the house sends the INTRUDER back inside.
Jesse is now in the street and is screaming for help, alerting neighbors. ONE NEIGHBOR opens his door, armed with a shotgun. Having lost complete control of the situation, the Intruder takes off into the night.
END OPENING AND INSERT TITLE CARD 'PUNISHMENT'
The following day, POLICE OFFICERS, SHERIFF'S DEPUTIES and MEDICAL/SCIENCE PERSONNEL are all present. Among them is DETECTIVE COLBY SHELTON, heading up the investigation. He makes various assessments about the crime with others and interviews a witness. The scene ends with Colby questioning the placement of the dishes and bindings, the latter having been in the house though not matching anything inside.
We cut and introduce our protagonists, two middle-aged, divorcees who are attractive and well-to-do; DR CONNOR ABROMOWITZ and his love interest MOIRA HALPRIN. He wakes up from sleeping in as Moira teases at him, leading to some adorably witty banter. Connor is a surgeon and the father of three boys whom are also the children of his ex wife. Moira is recently divorced herself and holds a job as a specialist in psychiatry. While she does have strong, passionate feelings for Connor, she is still working things out for herself. While Connor's opinion of this is largely unrevealed, his mature and genuine nature implies that he understands and only wants for her to be as happy as she possibly can be.
Connor makes his plans for the day to spend time with his sons playing golf while Moira has an appointment. We follow her to her APARTMENT, using scenery and shot displaying that she/we are being watched... are we? At her apartment, she has a message on her machine from her ex husband and another from RICHARD, someone else she has been seeing. She calls him back and during the call, we sense that dating him has not been to par, but she still agrees to have a lunch date.
We explore Connor's life as well, growing to understand just how wise and smart he is. His sons are equally adept, ahead of the curve in life having shared their father's keen adaptablity. He and his ex wife are on good terms, as opposed to Moira's situation. Another theme we explore is that Connor is okay with his neighbors across the street, though he is more reserved. One is LOUANNE, a tired single mother to a stoner son. Next door to her is MRS WHILES, wife of a retired FBI agent named BARRY WHILES. As next door neighbors they are friendly with one another more than with Connor.
Throughout the first and second acts before the middle of the story, we gather hints that things are amiss in this general area. Some strange events occur that border ominous, or eerie, while others are outright disturbing. These things foreshadow horrible things to come.
While it is obvious someone is stalking the couple, particularly Moira, focus points throughout ACT II have some sequences and scenes meant to throw the audience off using actual instances. For example, we learn more about the neighboring community of the condos, where NEIGHBORS themselves witness some odd things and encounter STRANGERS here and there. All of these strangers, including the Intruder himself, are actors hired for their likeness to the various composite sketches of VR/EAR/ONS.
One instance has a young man approach a single neighbor for help, claiming that he needs to use a phone to call for a ride so that he can save his injured dog. She sees the dog and allows him inside to use the phone. The entire ordeal is sketchy at best, as it appears the stranger may be casing her home. After he uses the phone and leaves, the neighbor is relieved.
Another key moment follows Connor as he goes by his office on his day off to get something he forgot. Upon his arrival, he finds that the office has recently been broken into and walks in on hearing a struggle. He enters the area to find his JANITOR being assaulted by TWO THUGS, demanding to know where the money is. Connor inserts himself into the situation and despite the tensions between them all, he manages to talk the hoods into vacating the premise.
Yet another instance shows a NEIGHBOR witnessing a STRANGER wandering out from behind a house. They are nervous however and choose to lock themselves inside of their house.
Despite all of the random, yet seemingly intertwined events, none are as horrifying as when the actual INTRUDER makes his full blown reappearance in the following pages...
The halfway point of the film shows Colby in his office going over case notes. With time having passed since the attack on the Wilhelm house, he feels that the perp has slipped away this time. However, he recieves a phone call from an upstate police detective named Ray Cross, having come across news of the Wilhelm case. We learn hear that the Intruder may have been responsible for more than fifty attacks on women in his jurisdiction, a spree having lasted three years before the unSub was apparently scared out of town after his final attack. It is also implied that he is responsible for two murders.
At this point, much has been established as to the who's, the where's, the when's and what's coming next. However, the ever elusive why's keep the audience guessing.
One particular day, Connor is with his son's while Moira breaks it off with Richard. Connor has since offered her to move in with him during one of their more passionate moments alone together. While thinking that one over, she has decided that she is happier with him than anything else. During this exposition into their lives, the Intruder reappears and breaking into vacant condo beside Connor's. He basically 'sets up shop here'. The teenage of son of Louanne, DANIEL, even sees the Intruder wandering about the neighborhood while smoking pot. He keeps to himself as what he was doing was illegal too and he didn't want to explain it.
That very night, Connor and Moira share a very special scene while being observed by the Intruder. He both listens through the wall and peeps in on them from the kitchen window. We know he's there now and we take to his visions, the theme being voyeurism. We know everything he knows and we're learning more by the second. While they discuss Moira moving in a little bit, the discussion is more about the upcoming Christmas party at Connor's ex-wifes house. Moira is surprised that she was invited but decides to go.
After Connor and Moira fall asleep, the Intruder begins 'testing' his targets. Namely, he does his infamous 'window scratching' tactic to test their sleeping habits. When it appears as though he might strike at that moment, he is surprised to hear someone entering the vacant condo. He is nearly cornered so he crawls into a CABINET while armed with his GUN. After a few moments, the Intruder makes a hasty escape from the area.
COLLEGE STUDENTS enter the building and turn on lights in the front room. One of them, Todd, is the son of the realtor who oversees the condo and is using the space to play D+D and drink beer with his buddies. They eventually find that the condo has been used by what they think are squatters, which upsets Todd. However, he decides to hold off telling his mom as it appears as though the house is vacant once again.
In the streets and frustrated, the angry Intruder begins prowling some more and focuses in on a woman introduced earlier. This is an extremely creepy scene, as he is seen right outside of her kitchen window while she washes her hands. If she had looked up, even for a second, she would have seen that face staring at her. Instead, she exits the room and the Intruder tries to open the door. She re-enters to hear this and immediately calls the police. The Intruder has already left.
ACT II wraps up with some smaller sub plots winding down, such as BARRY the retired fed returning home from a vacation he had been on. When he arrives, a *ed off and frustrated Louanne is filling out a report with a POLICEMAN. Barry interjects to see if he can help and it is mentioned that her son's bike was stolen. The son, Daniel, has since come forward about seeing someone wandering the neighborhood. A bundle of TWINE is lying nearby but goes largely unnoticed, as it appears to be trash.
We cut to CHRISTMAS some day or two later at the HILLARD HOUSE, where Connor and Moira are with his family. While initially feeling uncomfortable, Moira grows to accept the situation and we as an audience fully understand Connor. He recieves a very special gift from his sons and while in private, Moira accepts the invitation to move in.
While they're away, the Intruder has returned to the condo and is now inside. He plants things throughout, including BINDINGS and replaces things here or there. Also, he finds Connor's HANDGUN in the drawer and he unloads it before putting it back. Before leaving, makes sure to leave one of the windows in an unused room unlocked. FADE TO BLACK...
DECEMBER 30, 1979
GOLETA, CALIFORNIA
On the outside it appears as though Connor and Moira are spending what can be largely regarded as an average night together for two people who are in love. In reality, the repressed feelings of love and compassion for one another are freeing themselves. She hasn't moved in yet but she is extremely comfortable and looks very happy. After having dinner they return to the condo and things continue to appear perfect for the two. There is no sign that anyone had been there but the two are so wound up into each other, it would be hard for them to notice anyway. However, the UNLOCKED WINDOW is noticed and relocked anyway.
Connor and Moira are entranced with one another in whirlwind of passion. Some witty, adorable conversation is had by the two. Moira even refers to the condo as 'theirs' and the two make their way into the bedroom.
The consumation of the two living together is largely unseen, though we do see that the two are being watched from the window by the steely, hungry eyes of an ugly face hidden behind a terrifying mask. CUT TO BLACK...
I don't think I will be including the attack segment of the treatment. Both this early version and the script version are both extremely graphic, so I'll just sum it up and say that Moira and Connor suffer the fate of O/M. The character Barry plays into this as an homage to Rodney Miller/Claude Snelling/Bill McGowan as someone trying to intercept the offender but was shot.
Following the climax of the film, we skip forward sometime to a DINER. The news is reporting the capture of "Night Stalker" Richard Ramirez. A physically and emotionally injured Barry is watching on, shaking his head at the TV while sipping his coffee. He is waiting for someone, who turns out to be Detective Colby Shepherd. Shepherd meets with him and the two friends chat about things.
It is revealed that two more murders have happened since the Barry was shot and that Ramirez is not there guy. Not the guy they originally called 'night stalker'. The police and detectives are drawing many conclusions as to where else the intruder offended, but things are getting harder to follow up on. Colby is even losing sleep, which he confides to the seasoned field agent.
Barry is frustrated and implies that his life has began falling apart. He tells Colby his plan to catch the intruder if the police would help. Colby hears out the plan of using a 'decoy couple' and flaunting an undercover female officer to lure they guy into a trap. Colby's true feelings about this are unclear, though he does state that the 'boys upstairs' won't agree with it. This sends Barry into a rant that leads into a dramatic and loud tirade, which makes Colby uncomfortable so he leaves. Other customers look on in shock as this scene comes to a close and Barry proclaims that this is not the end.
END FILM ONE...
UPDATED 1-11-16
Found the notes I'd made for the follow up so I thought I'd go ahead and put it here. This way I can do away with them and have a place to find them. They were written after I'd completed the treatment above and I never got to plotting it out, so it's mainly notes and my ACT chart. It's even worse than the previous one so please forgive that.
NOTES:
-Proposed sequel to my EARONS film, following the continued chaos created by the ONS. This film will be shot back to back yet released separately. The moniker "Original Night Stalker" was hinted at in the previous film and will be used once in this one, as well as using it in the title: "ORIGINAL Night Stalker"
-Follows new victims and a new story telling all together. Victims are inspired by the Harringtons/Withuhn/Domingo/Sanchez murder victims as well as multiple survivors from the EAR saga.
-The story will be told in an entirely new way, as it directly follows the ONS based on the actions and behaviors he was known to display. His presence is much stronger and he will be major focus yet remain an enigma. Following the "face reveal" during the climax of the last film, the same actor at that point will portray him.
-The major protagonist of the film will be the female target with the male being more supportive. Her life will be what the ONS focuses on most, with the male making casual appearances. He is much stronger in the latter half of the film.
CHARACTER CHART:
The Intruder: Notorious stalker, rapist and murderer. As of the beginning of this film, he has murdered six people in southern California, including Connor Abromowitz and Moira Halprin. In the film he will be identified once as the 'original' night stalker.
The Woman/Delores: Initial target of the ONS, who is spared her fate when her niece begins to stay over. She is initially portrayed as average and well to do, while becoming paranoid about being watched later on. Very close to her niece Heather.
The Niece/Heather: Niece of the intended victim and is revealed in a plot twist to be the one who suffers her aunt's intended fate. Sweet, caring and full of issues, she is her aunt's confidante. Has an off-again/on-again relationship with her boyfriend Nathan.
The Boyfriend/Nathan: Heather's love interest and close friend. Very full of life and has a sense of humor. He is a considerably tame "comic relief" at points through his boisterous and very cocky, yet genuine nature. He is a very concerned man however but he rarely ever lets his guard down. Cares deeply for the well being of Heather.
The Survivor: A male survivor from the NorCal attack series, being interviewed by detectives. Terrified and reserved, his scenes prove pivotal in recounting the plot.
First Victim/Dina Towles: After the opening sequence ends, we cut to the this unfortunate woman being murdered in her own home while alone. She is the seventh official victim since the first film. Not much is known about her until later in the film through exposition. Her husband Jerry is pursued as a suspect, despite having been hospitalized that night.
Jerry Towles: Husband of the film's first on-screen victim Dina, who was in the hospital that tragic night. He is pursued as a suspect later in the film.
Detective Colby Shepherd
Neighbor/Woman who helped man rescue dog
ACT ONE:
Opening: 'Interrogation' in what will be called the Future Tense/Flash Forwards, implying that the Intruder was captured. A man we will call THE SUSPECT sits alone in an interrogation room and is being spoken to by detectives, including COLBY. This character plays as a 'narrator' of sorts.
-We cut right to the end-game of the attack on DINA TOWLES, who is murdered by the Intruder. After he flees, we cut to OFFICERS approaching her husband JERRY TOWLES in the hospital and drama follows.
TITLES
- The INTRUDER, unmasked yet unnamed goes about his stalking. He returns 'home' to Goleta and begins stalking an attractive woman named DELORES. She is relentlessly stalked for some time.
-Out with her niece HEATHER, she confides in her that she feels she is being watched after finding some obvious clues; strange twines stashed throughout the house, cars following her, etc. She even mentions finding some clothes having been moved in her bedroom one night after coming home late. Heather is skeptical but promises to stay with her if it would help. What Heather does not tell her is that she is about to be evicted from her house anyway, which is revealed in a private moment with her friend NATHAN.
-Act one wraps up with the NEIGHBOR from the first film being reintroduced, a woman who helped a strange young man save his injured dog. She receives a ROSE at her door step and a note, stating that it is gratitude. If this scene is scrapped, we will have large exposition by police in the FUTURE TENSE with the Suspect, talking about the previous victims who replace the count for the Smiths, Harrington's and Dina Towles.
ACT TWO:
-The Intruder begins a new day of stalking, waking up from a bed somewhere like anyone else. He gets into his car and drives until he comes to Delores' house. Once she leaves, he enters the house. 'Narration' from the FUTURE TENSE speaks about the odd things that the Intruder would do while alone in a house while he is doing it.
-Heather, Nathan and Delores spend some time together, hoping to soothe Delores' paranoia. Delores decides to go on a personal vacation after it is suggested. Heather promises to look after the home in her absence.
-Meanwhile, the Intruder continues his bizarre stalking pattern. He 'hang up calls' some neighbors, testing their activity during the day time and he walks the street as if he is carrying purpose. Some neighbors notice him but never give him a second glance. At one point, a television report reminds us that this man is a serial killer who is on the loose.
-We follow the Intruder through an entire day somewhere in his life, doing menial things and being ever mindful of women surrounding him. He is definitely the predator.
-Act Two wraps up with him attack Delores' house. However, he finds only a Heather in the bed and is thrown off. He demands her obedience and begins tying her up. However, Nathan exits the bathroom and stumbles onto the scene. After a brief altercation, he tackles the Intruder to the floor and struggle ensues. Just as Nathan gets the upper hand, the Intruder manages to shoot him off with a pistol he had holstered. Using a bludgeon found in the home, he beats the still living Nathan to death before turning on Heather. After raping and killing her, he continues mercilessly beating in Nathan's head out pure adrenaline and frustration. He removes Heather's bindings and disappears out of the house with the murder weapon and his tools.
ACT III:
-FLASH FORWARD to the interrogation, revealed to be six years later. Having recounted the tragic fates of Heather and Nathan, as well as the case history, it is revealed that the suspect being interrogated is not a suspect but a male SURVIVOR of an attack four years before that night in NorCal. This isn't even an interrogation but process for a line up, as the suspect has family ties to law enforcement himself. His attack occurred in 78 when he and his wife were accosted by an individual under some very similar circumstances. We reveal that DNA evidence has linked his attacker to that of the murderer of eight people, not including Connor and Moira where no DNA was present yet the MO was accurate.
-It is revealed that the survivor, STANLEY, is being asked to identify a potential suspect and that a final murder happened five years after Heather and Nathan were killed. The suspect is shown to be Jerry Towles who recounts his passion for the woman he married, Dina, and what she meant to him. Stanley sees instantly that Jerry is not his attacker because whoever it was would never have spoken so highly of a woman, or even fake it.
-Colby pursues some leads but everything goes cold. We recount the murders and suspect profile, all the while watching who we believe to be the Intruder going about his everyday life. We cut to Stanley and his wife, who receive the infamous 1993 phone call in here and state that this was the last possibly 'confirmable' communication made by the intruder.
-The ending cuts forty years later. A now retired and very aged Detective Colby Shepherd begins writing his book as we tell of the whereabouts of everyone involved in the last two films, ending with the statement that the man known as the "Original Night Stalker" is still at large.
During the credits, a card states that while the plot was fictitious, the events portrayed were in fact true and that the suspect is still at large. As the credits roll, multiple sketches, crime scene photos and information is displayed to the viewer.
NOTES:
-The story will claim to be true, focusing more on the story telling than trying to market within the film. The plot is in fact a compilation of events that have happened in the various crimes committed by the EARONS. However, the story itself is heavily inspired by the murders of Offerman/Manning/Smiths. They will be created into characters, inspired by them and various events mentioned by survivors.
-While the dog, "Woofy" is not present in either of the film treatments, he is there in the script.
-The Offerman/L. Smith character is CONNOR ABROMOWITZ, while his lover MOIRA HALPRIN is inspired by Manning/C.Smith. Their story draws more from that of Offerman/Manning as in careers, lifestyle and family relations. The climax of the film is theoretical but presented as the case reports allow. However, much of what you will read happened in other instances as according to survivors of the EAR saga. Just the same, some things are going to be changed so as to allow audiences to see just how bold of a criminal the 'Intruder' was.
***I feel it important to state that while the characters are inspired by certain people and events, that each character is an original one with their own back grounds. Nothing is 100% for anyone, save possibly for the Intruder.
-The film's cold opening is followed by a snippet from the OBSCENE PHONE CALL, "Gonna Kill You"
-The character of the INTRUDER is based on the EARONS and will be portrayed by multiple actors, all of them appearing as the various composite sketches.
-Naturally, the second film would have wrapped up the murder case as a whole and left the audience with a subtle hint as to where to find the 'real' information.
FILM ONE TREATMENT: 'PUNISHMENT'
Written by Wes Vegas
COLD OPENING/TITLE CARD, SHARP FONT: 'The events that take place in this film are true. Names and locations have been altered so as to deter the suspect, who may still be at large.'
INSERT OBSCENE CALL SNIPPET: "Gonna kill you..."
We cut to the OPENING: a beautiful young woman in her mid-to-late teens, JESSE WILHELM, is home alone. Follow with her as she is preparing a dinner for two, though there is an ominous feeling that she, and therefore the audience, is being watched. Her boyfriend, the older and rugged BRET MARTIN arrives and the two skip dinner. After having sex, the two pass out and the INTRUDER makes his move, breaking in and accosting the two.
Using a flashlight, the masked Intruder blinds the two after waking them with his hissing, sharp and demanding voice. At gunpoint, Jesse is forced to tie up Bret before she herself is tied up with bindings brought by the Intruder. He then reties Bret and begins ransacking the house, demanding money and food. He returns and withdraws a stack of dishes, oddly having been stashed beneath the bed. He places the dishes on Bret's back before taking Jesse out of the room in 'search of money', threatening her death if he hears the dishes fall.
The Intruder takes Jesse into the living room, where he tosses her down and begins rummaging again. He returns with drapes that he begins tearing into strips and blindfolds her. It is clear that he is meaning to rape her. Meanwhile, the helpless and terrified Bret is trembling and the dishes ultimately tumble over.This causes the Intruder to fly into a frenzy and storm out of the room, chanting " Gonna Kill 'em! Gonna Kill 'em!"
Jesse makes a desperate move to run once the blindfold slips down, as the Intruder forgot to retie her ankles. She goes blindly for the door but the Intruder reappears and pushes her back. In the other room, Bret hears the commotion and loses any hope that Jesse is alive. He makes his own move, hobbling out of the room as best as he can. The Intruder returns to find that Bret is gone and begins desperately searching for him. Jesse again makes a desperate attempt at running away.
Bret has hopped out of the back door, where the Intruder seems to have broken in. However, he falls over into some bushes and cannot move. The Intruder comes out and Bret is not found, having disappeared into the bushes. He lays prone, silent as the FLASHLIGHT BEAM dances around in search of him. A scream from Jesse calling for help on the opposite end of the house sends the INTRUDER back inside.
Jesse is now in the street and is screaming for help, alerting neighbors. ONE NEIGHBOR opens his door, armed with a shotgun. Having lost complete control of the situation, the Intruder takes off into the night.
END OPENING AND INSERT TITLE CARD 'PUNISHMENT'
The following day, POLICE OFFICERS, SHERIFF'S DEPUTIES and MEDICAL/SCIENCE PERSONNEL are all present. Among them is DETECTIVE COLBY SHELTON, heading up the investigation. He makes various assessments about the crime with others and interviews a witness. The scene ends with Colby questioning the placement of the dishes and bindings, the latter having been in the house though not matching anything inside.
We cut and introduce our protagonists, two middle-aged, divorcees who are attractive and well-to-do; DR CONNOR ABROMOWITZ and his love interest MOIRA HALPRIN. He wakes up from sleeping in as Moira teases at him, leading to some adorably witty banter. Connor is a surgeon and the father of three boys whom are also the children of his ex wife. Moira is recently divorced herself and holds a job as a specialist in psychiatry. While she does have strong, passionate feelings for Connor, she is still working things out for herself. While Connor's opinion of this is largely unrevealed, his mature and genuine nature implies that he understands and only wants for her to be as happy as she possibly can be.
Connor makes his plans for the day to spend time with his sons playing golf while Moira has an appointment. We follow her to her APARTMENT, using scenery and shot displaying that she/we are being watched... are we? At her apartment, she has a message on her machine from her ex husband and another from RICHARD, someone else she has been seeing. She calls him back and during the call, we sense that dating him has not been to par, but she still agrees to have a lunch date.
We explore Connor's life as well, growing to understand just how wise and smart he is. His sons are equally adept, ahead of the curve in life having shared their father's keen adaptablity. He and his ex wife are on good terms, as opposed to Moira's situation. Another theme we explore is that Connor is okay with his neighbors across the street, though he is more reserved. One is LOUANNE, a tired single mother to a stoner son. Next door to her is MRS WHILES, wife of a retired FBI agent named BARRY WHILES. As next door neighbors they are friendly with one another more than with Connor.
Throughout the first and second acts before the middle of the story, we gather hints that things are amiss in this general area. Some strange events occur that border ominous, or eerie, while others are outright disturbing. These things foreshadow horrible things to come.
While it is obvious someone is stalking the couple, particularly Moira, focus points throughout ACT II have some sequences and scenes meant to throw the audience off using actual instances. For example, we learn more about the neighboring community of the condos, where NEIGHBORS themselves witness some odd things and encounter STRANGERS here and there. All of these strangers, including the Intruder himself, are actors hired for their likeness to the various composite sketches of VR/EAR/ONS.
One instance has a young man approach a single neighbor for help, claiming that he needs to use a phone to call for a ride so that he can save his injured dog. She sees the dog and allows him inside to use the phone. The entire ordeal is sketchy at best, as it appears the stranger may be casing her home. After he uses the phone and leaves, the neighbor is relieved.
Another key moment follows Connor as he goes by his office on his day off to get something he forgot. Upon his arrival, he finds that the office has recently been broken into and walks in on hearing a struggle. He enters the area to find his JANITOR being assaulted by TWO THUGS, demanding to know where the money is. Connor inserts himself into the situation and despite the tensions between them all, he manages to talk the hoods into vacating the premise.
Yet another instance shows a NEIGHBOR witnessing a STRANGER wandering out from behind a house. They are nervous however and choose to lock themselves inside of their house.
Despite all of the random, yet seemingly intertwined events, none are as horrifying as when the actual INTRUDER makes his full blown reappearance in the following pages...
The halfway point of the film shows Colby in his office going over case notes. With time having passed since the attack on the Wilhelm house, he feels that the perp has slipped away this time. However, he recieves a phone call from an upstate police detective named Ray Cross, having come across news of the Wilhelm case. We learn hear that the Intruder may have been responsible for more than fifty attacks on women in his jurisdiction, a spree having lasted three years before the unSub was apparently scared out of town after his final attack. It is also implied that he is responsible for two murders.
At this point, much has been established as to the who's, the where's, the when's and what's coming next. However, the ever elusive why's keep the audience guessing.
One particular day, Connor is with his son's while Moira breaks it off with Richard. Connor has since offered her to move in with him during one of their more passionate moments alone together. While thinking that one over, she has decided that she is happier with him than anything else. During this exposition into their lives, the Intruder reappears and breaking into vacant condo beside Connor's. He basically 'sets up shop here'. The teenage of son of Louanne, DANIEL, even sees the Intruder wandering about the neighborhood while smoking pot. He keeps to himself as what he was doing was illegal too and he didn't want to explain it.
That very night, Connor and Moira share a very special scene while being observed by the Intruder. He both listens through the wall and peeps in on them from the kitchen window. We know he's there now and we take to his visions, the theme being voyeurism. We know everything he knows and we're learning more by the second. While they discuss Moira moving in a little bit, the discussion is more about the upcoming Christmas party at Connor's ex-wifes house. Moira is surprised that she was invited but decides to go.
After Connor and Moira fall asleep, the Intruder begins 'testing' his targets. Namely, he does his infamous 'window scratching' tactic to test their sleeping habits. When it appears as though he might strike at that moment, he is surprised to hear someone entering the vacant condo. He is nearly cornered so he crawls into a CABINET while armed with his GUN. After a few moments, the Intruder makes a hasty escape from the area.
COLLEGE STUDENTS enter the building and turn on lights in the front room. One of them, Todd, is the son of the realtor who oversees the condo and is using the space to play D+D and drink beer with his buddies. They eventually find that the condo has been used by what they think are squatters, which upsets Todd. However, he decides to hold off telling his mom as it appears as though the house is vacant once again.
In the streets and frustrated, the angry Intruder begins prowling some more and focuses in on a woman introduced earlier. This is an extremely creepy scene, as he is seen right outside of her kitchen window while she washes her hands. If she had looked up, even for a second, she would have seen that face staring at her. Instead, she exits the room and the Intruder tries to open the door. She re-enters to hear this and immediately calls the police. The Intruder has already left.
ACT II wraps up with some smaller sub plots winding down, such as BARRY the retired fed returning home from a vacation he had been on. When he arrives, a *ed off and frustrated Louanne is filling out a report with a POLICEMAN. Barry interjects to see if he can help and it is mentioned that her son's bike was stolen. The son, Daniel, has since come forward about seeing someone wandering the neighborhood. A bundle of TWINE is lying nearby but goes largely unnoticed, as it appears to be trash.
We cut to CHRISTMAS some day or two later at the HILLARD HOUSE, where Connor and Moira are with his family. While initially feeling uncomfortable, Moira grows to accept the situation and we as an audience fully understand Connor. He recieves a very special gift from his sons and while in private, Moira accepts the invitation to move in.
While they're away, the Intruder has returned to the condo and is now inside. He plants things throughout, including BINDINGS and replaces things here or there. Also, he finds Connor's HANDGUN in the drawer and he unloads it before putting it back. Before leaving, makes sure to leave one of the windows in an unused room unlocked. FADE TO BLACK...
DECEMBER 30, 1979
GOLETA, CALIFORNIA
On the outside it appears as though Connor and Moira are spending what can be largely regarded as an average night together for two people who are in love. In reality, the repressed feelings of love and compassion for one another are freeing themselves. She hasn't moved in yet but she is extremely comfortable and looks very happy. After having dinner they return to the condo and things continue to appear perfect for the two. There is no sign that anyone had been there but the two are so wound up into each other, it would be hard for them to notice anyway. However, the UNLOCKED WINDOW is noticed and relocked anyway.
Connor and Moira are entranced with one another in whirlwind of passion. Some witty, adorable conversation is had by the two. Moira even refers to the condo as 'theirs' and the two make their way into the bedroom.
The consumation of the two living together is largely unseen, though we do see that the two are being watched from the window by the steely, hungry eyes of an ugly face hidden behind a terrifying mask. CUT TO BLACK...
I don't think I will be including the attack segment of the treatment. Both this early version and the script version are both extremely graphic, so I'll just sum it up and say that Moira and Connor suffer the fate of O/M. The character Barry plays into this as an homage to Rodney Miller/Claude Snelling/Bill McGowan as someone trying to intercept the offender but was shot.
Following the climax of the film, we skip forward sometime to a DINER. The news is reporting the capture of "Night Stalker" Richard Ramirez. A physically and emotionally injured Barry is watching on, shaking his head at the TV while sipping his coffee. He is waiting for someone, who turns out to be Detective Colby Shepherd. Shepherd meets with him and the two friends chat about things.
It is revealed that two more murders have happened since the Barry was shot and that Ramirez is not there guy. Not the guy they originally called 'night stalker'. The police and detectives are drawing many conclusions as to where else the intruder offended, but things are getting harder to follow up on. Colby is even losing sleep, which he confides to the seasoned field agent.
Barry is frustrated and implies that his life has began falling apart. He tells Colby his plan to catch the intruder if the police would help. Colby hears out the plan of using a 'decoy couple' and flaunting an undercover female officer to lure they guy into a trap. Colby's true feelings about this are unclear, though he does state that the 'boys upstairs' won't agree with it. This sends Barry into a rant that leads into a dramatic and loud tirade, which makes Colby uncomfortable so he leaves. Other customers look on in shock as this scene comes to a close and Barry proclaims that this is not the end.
END FILM ONE...
UPDATED 1-11-16
Found the notes I'd made for the follow up so I thought I'd go ahead and put it here. This way I can do away with them and have a place to find them. They were written after I'd completed the treatment above and I never got to plotting it out, so it's mainly notes and my ACT chart. It's even worse than the previous one so please forgive that.
NOTES:
-Proposed sequel to my EARONS film, following the continued chaos created by the ONS. This film will be shot back to back yet released separately. The moniker "Original Night Stalker" was hinted at in the previous film and will be used once in this one, as well as using it in the title: "ORIGINAL Night Stalker"
-Follows new victims and a new story telling all together. Victims are inspired by the Harringtons/Withuhn/Domingo/Sanchez murder victims as well as multiple survivors from the EAR saga.
-The story will be told in an entirely new way, as it directly follows the ONS based on the actions and behaviors he was known to display. His presence is much stronger and he will be major focus yet remain an enigma. Following the "face reveal" during the climax of the last film, the same actor at that point will portray him.
-The major protagonist of the film will be the female target with the male being more supportive. Her life will be what the ONS focuses on most, with the male making casual appearances. He is much stronger in the latter half of the film.
CHARACTER CHART:
The Intruder: Notorious stalker, rapist and murderer. As of the beginning of this film, he has murdered six people in southern California, including Connor Abromowitz and Moira Halprin. In the film he will be identified once as the 'original' night stalker.
The Woman/Delores: Initial target of the ONS, who is spared her fate when her niece begins to stay over. She is initially portrayed as average and well to do, while becoming paranoid about being watched later on. Very close to her niece Heather.
The Niece/Heather: Niece of the intended victim and is revealed in a plot twist to be the one who suffers her aunt's intended fate. Sweet, caring and full of issues, she is her aunt's confidante. Has an off-again/on-again relationship with her boyfriend Nathan.
The Boyfriend/Nathan: Heather's love interest and close friend. Very full of life and has a sense of humor. He is a considerably tame "comic relief" at points through his boisterous and very cocky, yet genuine nature. He is a very concerned man however but he rarely ever lets his guard down. Cares deeply for the well being of Heather.
The Survivor: A male survivor from the NorCal attack series, being interviewed by detectives. Terrified and reserved, his scenes prove pivotal in recounting the plot.
First Victim/Dina Towles: After the opening sequence ends, we cut to the this unfortunate woman being murdered in her own home while alone. She is the seventh official victim since the first film. Not much is known about her until later in the film through exposition. Her husband Jerry is pursued as a suspect, despite having been hospitalized that night.
Jerry Towles: Husband of the film's first on-screen victim Dina, who was in the hospital that tragic night. He is pursued as a suspect later in the film.
Detective Colby Shepherd
Neighbor/Woman who helped man rescue dog
ACT ONE:
Opening: 'Interrogation' in what will be called the Future Tense/Flash Forwards, implying that the Intruder was captured. A man we will call THE SUSPECT sits alone in an interrogation room and is being spoken to by detectives, including COLBY. This character plays as a 'narrator' of sorts.
-We cut right to the end-game of the attack on DINA TOWLES, who is murdered by the Intruder. After he flees, we cut to OFFICERS approaching her husband JERRY TOWLES in the hospital and drama follows.
TITLES
- The INTRUDER, unmasked yet unnamed goes about his stalking. He returns 'home' to Goleta and begins stalking an attractive woman named DELORES. She is relentlessly stalked for some time.
-Out with her niece HEATHER, she confides in her that she feels she is being watched after finding some obvious clues; strange twines stashed throughout the house, cars following her, etc. She even mentions finding some clothes having been moved in her bedroom one night after coming home late. Heather is skeptical but promises to stay with her if it would help. What Heather does not tell her is that she is about to be evicted from her house anyway, which is revealed in a private moment with her friend NATHAN.
-Act one wraps up with the NEIGHBOR from the first film being reintroduced, a woman who helped a strange young man save his injured dog. She receives a ROSE at her door step and a note, stating that it is gratitude. If this scene is scrapped, we will have large exposition by police in the FUTURE TENSE with the Suspect, talking about the previous victims who replace the count for the Smiths, Harrington's and Dina Towles.
ACT TWO:
-The Intruder begins a new day of stalking, waking up from a bed somewhere like anyone else. He gets into his car and drives until he comes to Delores' house. Once she leaves, he enters the house. 'Narration' from the FUTURE TENSE speaks about the odd things that the Intruder would do while alone in a house while he is doing it.
-Heather, Nathan and Delores spend some time together, hoping to soothe Delores' paranoia. Delores decides to go on a personal vacation after it is suggested. Heather promises to look after the home in her absence.
-Meanwhile, the Intruder continues his bizarre stalking pattern. He 'hang up calls' some neighbors, testing their activity during the day time and he walks the street as if he is carrying purpose. Some neighbors notice him but never give him a second glance. At one point, a television report reminds us that this man is a serial killer who is on the loose.
-We follow the Intruder through an entire day somewhere in his life, doing menial things and being ever mindful of women surrounding him. He is definitely the predator.
-Act Two wraps up with him attack Delores' house. However, he finds only a Heather in the bed and is thrown off. He demands her obedience and begins tying her up. However, Nathan exits the bathroom and stumbles onto the scene. After a brief altercation, he tackles the Intruder to the floor and struggle ensues. Just as Nathan gets the upper hand, the Intruder manages to shoot him off with a pistol he had holstered. Using a bludgeon found in the home, he beats the still living Nathan to death before turning on Heather. After raping and killing her, he continues mercilessly beating in Nathan's head out pure adrenaline and frustration. He removes Heather's bindings and disappears out of the house with the murder weapon and his tools.
ACT III:
-FLASH FORWARD to the interrogation, revealed to be six years later. Having recounted the tragic fates of Heather and Nathan, as well as the case history, it is revealed that the suspect being interrogated is not a suspect but a male SURVIVOR of an attack four years before that night in NorCal. This isn't even an interrogation but process for a line up, as the suspect has family ties to law enforcement himself. His attack occurred in 78 when he and his wife were accosted by an individual under some very similar circumstances. We reveal that DNA evidence has linked his attacker to that of the murderer of eight people, not including Connor and Moira where no DNA was present yet the MO was accurate.
-It is revealed that the survivor, STANLEY, is being asked to identify a potential suspect and that a final murder happened five years after Heather and Nathan were killed. The suspect is shown to be Jerry Towles who recounts his passion for the woman he married, Dina, and what she meant to him. Stanley sees instantly that Jerry is not his attacker because whoever it was would never have spoken so highly of a woman, or even fake it.
-Colby pursues some leads but everything goes cold. We recount the murders and suspect profile, all the while watching who we believe to be the Intruder going about his everyday life. We cut to Stanley and his wife, who receive the infamous 1993 phone call in here and state that this was the last possibly 'confirmable' communication made by the intruder.
-The ending cuts forty years later. A now retired and very aged Detective Colby Shepherd begins writing his book as we tell of the whereabouts of everyone involved in the last two films, ending with the statement that the man known as the "Original Night Stalker" is still at large.
During the credits, a card states that while the plot was fictitious, the events portrayed were in fact true and that the suspect is still at large. As the credits roll, multiple sketches, crime scene photos and information is displayed to the viewer.
